I looked at the notification on my phone. It was a DM from Instagram.
Javier:next round of the competition is focused on college algebra
I held back a snort at the message. I knew this about the competition already because I, unlike somebody that I knew, read the papers that our principal gave to us. It had each round listed on there and I had already memorized the order.
Me:I know
Ricky waved his hand in my face. "Dude, pay attention. I know this isn't fun. Trust me, it isn’t fun for me either, but I wouldn’t be saying this if I was not concerned."
I put my phone on my leg with the screen facing upward. Before I could turn it off, Javier replied back.
Javier:it's in less than two weeks...you free today?
Despite the difficult conversation that I was having with Ricky, I smiled at the text. His message implied us meeting up and I had no choice but to say yes. Because we needed to study, obviously…
I made the mental note of needing to ask for his phone number. Direct messaging through Instagram was fine, but having his actual number would be handy.
Me:I have to check my busy schedule…
Javier:oh for real? didn't realize you were such a busy guy
Me:I just have sooooo many talents so a lot of people need me. I make priority for them.
A couple of seconds had passed and Javi hadn't replied yet. Clearly my messages were laced with humor, I figured it was obvious. His lack of reply was making me question it, though.
Ricky peered over my shoulder. “Are you texting Javier?”
I met Ricky’s eyes with a smirk. “How did you know?”
“I just do,” he said calmly. “As much as I love to watch you flirt with your rival, I need to have this real conversation with you.”
I was going to deny the flirting comment, but Ricky’s stern expression stopped me. I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Alright.”
"You don't think that it's concerning that every time we go anywhere where you can access alcohol you have to be dragged out of the place by someone else?" His gaze was intense, but not judgmental. “Or that you needed it so badly that one time at my house you took it from my parents' liquor cabinet.”
“I apologized for that, and I swear on my life that it will never happen again.”
I wasn’t oblivious enough to believe that it wasn’t a slight problem. I knew it was. I shouldn't become so fucked up that I had to rely on someone else to make sure I make it home safely. It was selfish of me to burden others like that, but it was honestly always an accident.
Not only was it not fair to my friends, but it also wasn’t a good look for me. What I did in the comfort of home was fine as no one there cared, but scaring the few who actually gave a damn about me wasn’t right.
“I overdo it sometimes, you’re right. I’ll get my shit together. You can go tell Kailey that you talked to me so she can stop being mad at you."
Ricky pursed his lips. "You mean it?"
"I pinky swear."
I felt the vibration from my phone again and my eyes fell to it.
Javier:ok... then i'm in need of one of your many talents so can you prioritize me?
"I think you’re blushing, friend," Ricky said knowingly.
***
After spending a few hours at Ricky’s house, I made it back home. He had dropped me off before he went to try and make up with his girlfriend. Javier and I made plans to study at his place, so I needed to grab my backpack and other study materials before I made the walk to his house. He insisted that he come pick me up. It took a lot of reassuring that I was alright with walking before he let me.
After I had everything together, I sat on the floor to put my sneakers on so that I could leave. I had thought I was alone in the house because I didn’t see any cars in the driveway when I got dropped off. I soon realized that I was mistaken when I saw the shadow of my aunt standing over me.
