“Go take that shit off,” Macy said through gritted teeth.
"I was already going to take it off."
"Are you talking back to me?"
I shook my head. "Of course not."
"That’s what I thought," she spat. "Now walk away."
She didn’t have to tell me twice to get away from her. There was no explaining myself to someone who didn't want to hear it.
Everything that I did was a problem and that would always be the case, so I stopped stressing over her bitching a long time ago. Nail polish was just paint on nails, it didn’t matter who it was on. Not everyone had that opinion, clearly.
I was sure to scrub it off the moment I could. The twins were not home so they didn't see, thankfully. I didn't know how they would have reacted, but I didn't imagine that it would be pleasant.
Once my nails were bare again, I rushed toward my bed and threw myself on top of it. I had long ago stopped wishing that she would one day treat me the way aunts are supposed to treat their nephew’s, so I had done a good job of learning to let her words brush off me. Even so, they still stung sometimes.
I let my eyes wander the room as I fought the urge to reach for the box under my bed. I knew that I could easily get rid of the sting from just a bit of tequila or rum and it was taking a lot to keep myself grounded. As I stirred, my gaze landed on something on the nightstand beside my bed. It was a framed picture.
The only picture the twins and I had of our parents was between a small 4x6 picture in a brown picture frame. It was of my mom in a hospital bed, she had just given birth to me. She was holding me in her arms while my dad stood beside her holding the one-year-old twins in his own.
My mother’s black, pixie-cut hair was messy on her head, and her droopy grey eyes showed how exhausted she was, but she was beautiful. She smiled ear-to-ear as my dad leaned his head against hers. His full, curly hair pressed against her cheek as the couple posed for the camera with their children.
My mom passed away a few hours after that photo was taken.
And suddenly, I couldn’t keep myself away from numbing the feelings any longer.
***
It had been a few days since the party, and it was difficult trying to adjust to the new ways of our friend group.
Ricky and Kailey did not want to be around each other so we couldn't sit at the lunch table together. Kailey and Bella found anew spot to sit and left the rest of the table to Ricky, Justin, and I. Being separated made me realize that those two often sparked the fun conversations between us and without them there it was fairly quiet.
Ricky was coping seemingly fine now that a few days had passed. He wasn’t his normal self, but he wasn’t sulking so that was a good sign. Kailey walked around school with a frown, so it didn’t seem that she was doing any differently than Ricky.
I wanted things to go back to the way they were before, for them to make up so the group could be whole again. Ricky, Justin, and I were sitting at the table and listening to each other chew, that was how silent it was.
"You all look like your dog just died," said a familiar voice.
The person standing before me was not who I thought it would be. It was Benji, my brother’s best friend and my sister’s boyfriend. I had sometimes forgotten that he attended the same school I did. I rarely ever saw him because he never showed up for class, and when he did show up he wasn’t usually concerned with me.
Benji took a seat in the chair across from us with a wide smile. Not too long ago I would be ecstatic at an impromptu visit from Benji, but after all that had been happening with Javi and I, my attraction to Benji had died down. I still liked him, but it wasn’t as much as it was before. Not to mention the weird vibes I sometimes got from him lately.
No one responded to Benji's statement, so he continued. "What are you doing after school, Eli?"
I thought about it like I was a busy person with a hectic schedule, but I was not that. I was actually a person with a rather free schedule.
"Probably not much."
"Perfect!" He clapped his hands. "I need you to come with me to run errands after school."
"Why?" Ricky asked for me as he eyed him.
Benji maintained eye contact with me but answered Ricky's question. "The big day is near and I need to get the perfect gift for Easton."
I scoffed because I knew exactly what he was referring to. He was talking about my siblings' birthday. Their nineteenth birthday was only a week away and Benji wanted me to help him pick out gifts.
Most seniors in high school were seventeen turning eighteen, not eighteen turning nineteen like the twins. It was not that they had ever been held back a grade. No, it was our aunts doing. Macy decided to redshirt the twins, basically meaning she waited a year longer than usual to enroll them in kindergarten. Then she turned around and did it with me when I turned school aged.
