They invited me to their place after pizza, but I politely declined. I did not want to take up any more of their time, plus I needed to make my way home. I did not want to bother them for a ride home, so I opted for walking. It was not like I wasn’t used to it.
I didn’t make it home until late. I made a couple of detours on the way back because I found the walking peaceful. Not only that, but I enjoyed cherishing my moments alone.
Once I arrived, I unlocked the door slowly and carefully so as to not alert the house that I was there. I had managed to sneak past my aunt who was knocked out cold on the couch, and then Imade it into my bedroom. The twins were both there, their eyes widening in surprise when I entered.
“You owe me twenty dollars, Easton,” Emerson said with a smirk
“Dammit, why do you always win the bets?” Easton groaned.
My sister shrugged in response. She noticed the confused expression on my face and explained, “Easton bet me twenty bucks that you weren’t coming back, but I knew you were. You just won me cash.”
"I live here. Where else do I have to go?” I asked with a scoff, my arms flying outward in disbelief at their unseriousness.
Neither of them responded. I should have left it at that, I should have shrugged off their carelessness and moved on, but no. That was not what I did because I didn’t know how to leave things alone. Despite having lived with my siblings for my entire life and being completely used to their behavior, I never learned to ignore it.
“I’m surprised you two noticed that I left.” I glared.
Emerson scoffed. "The whole school watched you run out of the gym while bawling your eyes out, how couldn’t we notice? Do you know how embarrassing that was for Easton and me?"
Embarrassing for you? What about how embarrassing it was for me?
“Easton andI,” I mumbled the correction to my sister's grammar.
She rolled her eyes. “Guess who doesn’t care? Me.”
Sometimes I felt bad for my brother and sister. It must get tiring constantly having to come up with new insults and ways to offend me.
I often wondered if things would be different if our parents were alive. People loved to tell me that it would, that our parents’ deaths the only reason the twins treated me the way they did, but was that true? Did they treat me terribly solely because theyblamed me for our parents, or would they still hate me, but for a different reason?
Maybe those people were right. Maybe if we weren’t orphans then I would be close with my older siblings. We would have a normal sibling bond, and I would be able to rely on them. Maybe it would affect other things too, like the relationship we had with our aunt or the way I found comfort in alcohol. Unfortunately, there was no way to ever know.
I would be lying if I said that my siblings' coldness toward me didn’t still hurt. It was all they had ever been to me, so one would think that I would be used to it by now. I learned how to not let it eat me alive, but that did not mean that it didn’t still get to me at times.
"Macy's pissed that you ditched school in the middle of the day. Good work," Easton said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Not very 4.0 student of you."
I didn’t care that my aunt was upset—she was always upset. I opened my drawer so that I could gather my things to hop into the shower, but Easton kept talking. "If that guy who won today had lost to you, I doubt he would have ran out of the gym in tears"
"Fuck him," I gritted through my teeth. My anger was misplaced. I knew it was not Javier’s fault that he won, but I needed someone to be angry at.
"Imagine hating someone just because they're better than you," Emerson quipped as she shook her head in disapproval.
"Imagine being a shitty sister," I retorted.
Emerson looked at me, flabbergasted. Easton whipped his head around so fast he should have gotten whiplash.
"Me? A shitty sister?" Emerson stood up angrily, astounded at what I had called her. "I do so much for your ungrateful ass!"
Easton joined in on the argument. "Yeah, she bought you the shoes you’re wearing right now."
That was true. One day when she was in a spectacular mood, she bought me new shoes. I didn’t even need new ones at the time. However, that one good action did not negate the hundreds of bad ones.
"Don't act like you're any better. You're a worse brother than she is a sister." Easton tried to cut me off, but I didn't let him. "I know that you do some nice things, alright? I'm aware of how you guys help me. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for it."
“As you should be,” Easton muttered.
"But you both treat me like I'm gum on the bottom of your shoe!" My heartbeat was loud in my ears, and my fingernails were digging into my palms. "Neither of you haveeverbeen nice to me. Siblings are supposed to be there for each other, but I can't come to you for anything!"
We have had this fight many times before, but this time was different. I was angrier than ever. It was probably because of the stress of the day, but also because things had been building up for a while. Their neglect felt heavier than ever at this moment.
