My tongue glided against my top teeth. "I just want to say thanks for looking out for me.”
"You don't have to thank me." His eyes didn't leave the TV as he flicked through the channels. "Why do I feel like there's a 'but' coming?"
"But I don't want you to worry about me all of the time. You've been focused on me since the hospital."
"I can't not worry about you," Javier said calmly, but I swear it sounded like he was slightly annoyed that I was bringing it up.
I sighed. "You act like if you take your eyes off of me then I’m going to…I don’t know, disappear? I’m not going to run away. I don’t want you to miss out on everything else because you’re so focused on me."
"I'm not missing out on anything by making sure you’re alright." Javier set the remote down as his eyes narrowed at me. "Not even two weeks ago I thought you were going to die, now you want me to just forget it?"
I felt a sharp pang of guilt in my chest, now understanding that this was more complicated than simply telling him that I was okay. "No, I don't expect you or anyone else to forget aboutit. I am asking you to let yourself enjoy everything and to stop burdening yourself with me."
"You're not a—"
I put my finger over his lips to shush him. "Let me finish. If I could take it all back and never do what I did, I would. I would have figured out some other way to cope and would be a lot better than I am right now, but I didn't do that. I did not do that because I make stupid decisions, and I will forever keep saying that I'm sorry. I am sorry."
I slowly removed my finger from his lips, and he didn't try to speak, giving me the floor to continue.
"But I am not going to do that again. I know you probably don't believe that and that my words don't mean much now, but I'll show you. I don't ever want to hurt you or anyone else like I did that night. I feel terrible about it and I'm trying to fix it." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'm going to fix it because I want to be okay, and when I do, we can live happily ever after like they do in the movies. But for now, I need you to have fun on this trip, which means less focusing on me."
I finished talking and waited for his response anxiously. What if this finally gave him the opportunity to tell me to piss off? What if his next request was for me to find someone else's family to leech off.
He exhaled through his nose with his lips pressed into a straight, thin line. “I know you're trying, Eli, and I'm proud of you for it. I'm more afraid of you not being fine, keeping it to yourself, and then ending up worse."
Javier did not trust me. He did not trust me to trust him enough to tell the truth because I had broken it. I had no clue how long it was going to take me to rebuild it, but I would not stop until it was fixed.
"I am not going to lie about that. I'm just really exhausted right now, honestly. If it gets to be anything more than that thenyou will be the first to know." My eyes bore into his heavily to get my point across. "And your mom is always around, she’s always on me about it too."
"I won't stop worrying about you completely, you can't ask me to do that.” I could see the wheels turning in his head as he chewed on the inside of his cheek. “But I will stop hovering, and I’ll listen when you say that you’re fine.”
"That's all I ask." My lips pressed against his in a slow, delicate motion.
Javi’s hand cupped my cheek as he pulled my body closer to his. I stuck my fingers into his black hair and took a hold of a fistful of it as we kissed tenderly. I was dying to feel his soft, plump lips against mine again. During the chaos of the aftermath of my hospital visit, all intimate moments between us came to a hold.
Unfortunately for us, now was not the time for it either. I was sitting on his lap when I pulled back from the kiss. Javi let out a tiny whine at the loss of connection, but Ricky and Paxton would be back any minute and I knew they would not want to walk in on us mid make-out.
“You're teasing me, Richardson," Javier grunted.
I slid in between his parted legs, my back pressed against his torso and I leaned into him. “Later, Mr. President. Later.”
Javier snorted at the nickname as his arms wrapped around my stomach. He reached for the remote again and began searching through the channels.
"Without you and your family, I don't know where I would be right now. I owe so much to all of you," I said randomly, my eyes feeling heavier than usual.
He rested his chin in the crook of my neck. "The only thing you owe to us is getting better."
"I don't deserve you."
"You deserve the world."
My heart fluttered. "You always know the right thing to say, it's a talent."
“I just say what I feel. But, yes, I do have a lot of talents,” he said arrogantly.
“Yeah, another one of them is being the cockiest person on earth.”
“Being the cockiest? Or having the biggest…”
