I did not ask for permission to go by Ricky’s or spend the night. My aunt worked late tonight, so when she made it home it would be too late for her to care where I was or what I was doing. She more than likely wouldn’t even notice I wasn’t there.
"Get the snacks, yeah I know," Kailey said, already moving toward the kitchen because she knew the drill.
Ricky laughed and then turned to Justin. "Would you go pop the popcorn?”
"Sure man.”
The three of them went to get what Ricky asked them to. I was about to do the same, but Ricky grabbed my hand and pulled me back.
"Eli," his tone was flat.
"That would be my name," I gave a closed-lip smile.
Ricky chuckled, but I could tell he was trying to be serious. My smile faltered and my lips formed into a straight line.
My best friend put a gentle hand on my shoulder. "I wanted to talk to you about something. Look at me."
I did not look at him because Ricky trying to be serious concerned me, so holding eye contact was difficult. I tried to seize the awkwardness with a joke. "This feels pretty intimate, Richard.”
Ricky ignored both my comment and my use of his government name. "Be honest with me."
I shrugged, still staring past him instead of at him. "I always am."
“If you lose to Javier again you won’t be too hard on yourself, right?” he asked quietly. He spoke as if he was about totell a child the word ‘no,’ and saying it too fast would send the kid into a tantrum.
“Of course not,” I scoffed. Ricky then gave me a knowing look to which I sighed.
His eyes watched me with sympathy. “I just don’t want to see you beat yourself up over it. It isn’t the end of the world if he wins. You’re running for senior class president, not president of the United States.”
“I think I’d make a great president of America,” I said confidently.
Ricky snorted and ran his hand through his hair. “Yes, because a teenaged overly competitive asshole is exactly what America needs.”
I looked at him incredulously as I playfully punched him in the arm. “I am not an asshole!”
He smiled at me, his teeth showing as he did. “Yeah, and cupcakes are better than cookies.”
“They are.”
“Are not.”
“Are too,” Bella joined in as she carried what looked to be about four huge blankets in her arms. She dropped them all on the floor and laid down dramatically like she had just hauled four boulders across the room. After a few moments of over dramatic huffing, Bella stared at me. “Where are the drinks, Eli?”
“I’m going, I’m going,” I drawled, giving a reassuring smile to Ricky before I made my way to his kitchen.
After grabbing the snacks and setting up the living room, we made ourselves cozy and started the movie. Our setup was nice, plenty of pillows on the floor so that we could lie on something small, and multiple blankets to keep us warm. Every thirty minutes or so Bella would talk too much and either Kailey or Justin would throw pieces of popcorn at her. It was hilarious.
Everyone was asleep by the third movie. It was midnight and we had school in a few hours, so I needed to go to sleep as well. I paused the movie so that we wouldn’t lose our place before I snuggled under my blanket.
At night my mind tended to wander. Actually, my mind would do that often. At school, at home, with friends, but it was the worst at night. During school and with my friends wasn't too bad, they were my distraction. At home my distraction was something else.
Without the distraction, I would remember and dwell on every bad thing that ever happened in my life, all floating around at once. My parents' deaths, my siblings blaming and hating me for it, my aunt's cold attitude, me constantly losing at everything I attempted.
Just a few sips, that's all I need to fall asleep.
I had stayed over at my best friend's house enough times to know where his parents’ liquor cabinet was. I felt bad for stealing, but I only ever drank a little. Luckily his parents had never caught me before. I had no idea how that awkward conversation would go down if they ever did.
So, I took a couple of sips and then I tried to fall asleep. However, it wasn’t helping. I didn’t know if it was because of the stress of tomorrow's election or if it was some other reason, but it wasn't enough.
