“I’m not blindly optimistic, Eli. I can still recognize when we really did not know what we were doing.”
"It's designed to be hard, so I don't think anyone really knew what they were doing,” I said quietly. “We still knew some of the stuff on there so that's a reason to have hope, yeah?"
Javier's lips curled into a smile as his eyes found mine. "Look at you being positive."
My eyes widened in surprise at my unusually positive thoughts. I did not think about what I was saying before I spoke, the words just spilled out. I could feel my cheeks warming as a smile forced its way onto my face. "Guess who I learned that from."
He bowed like he was royalty. Then, he poked me in my shoulder as his eyes glistened. "I'm so proud of you."
My chest was doing that weird tingly thing again.
The time went by slower than the immortal snail and for a minute I genuinely thought time stopped. It was just my overdramatic attitude, though.
We walked into the room with our heads held high, but on the inside, we were shaking. Just like the last time the judgesgave our scores, they handed us the paper and it had the score and what we placed.
To be totally honest, I had no clue how exactly it worked. There was a point system that came from what we placed each round, but it was confusing. Mrs. Montgomery tried explaining it, but she was our principal and not our teacher for a good reason; she was terrible at explaining things. It was fine, though, because she knew whether or not we made it.
20/50 was our score. I wasn't surprised but it was still disappointing. It was designed to be hard and everyone struggled, I knew that. Still, I could tell myself that one thousand times and it wouldn't change how much it hurt to fail. It came with a deep, sinking feeling in your chest. One that was physically painful.
We placed eighth. Javier and I shared the same defeated look when we saw it, our shoulders slumping and lips pressed into a line.
"Eighth is…wow," Javi mumbled.
Mrs. Montgomery frowned at the paper when we handed it to her. Then, remembering that she was supposed to be the uplifting figure, she forced a toothy smile.
"So… are we making it to finals?" I asked with a simmer of hope.
Our principal sucked in a sharp breath and clasped her hands together. "Do you boys want me to tell you now or wait until they announce it online officially?"
Javi and I shared a look, mutually agreeing that we wanted to know now. No idea why she thought we would want to wait any longer than we already had been. By now she had to know that waiting was eating us alive, but I digress.
"Tell us," Javi insisted.
"Sadly, you needed to make it two places higher to have made it to the next round. Sorry boys."
Of course. I would have rather we placed dead last instead because at least then we wouldn't have been close to making it. Knowing that just a couple more correct answers could have put us in finals was irritating.
Mrs. Montgomery congratulated us on our efforts and with cheer. The slight frown that she tried to hide was easy to spot, but at least she was trying to stay positive. She walked us to Javier’s vehicle before giving us one more minute of praise and then leaving.
Javier started the car but did not take it out of ‘park.’ I felt his eyes linger on me and I was going to ignore it, but they stayed there for so long that I couldn't pretend like it was not happening. I met his gaze with sharp eyes.
"Whatcha looking at?"
"You."
I rolled my eyes. "Clearly, why?"
He paused, obviously conflicted on what he wanted to say. "Are you okay?"
“Peachy.” I forced a smile, but it came off sadder than I intended. “Are you?”
“I will be.” He was walking on eggshells around me. “But are you seriously alright?”
My brows furrowed at his question. How many times did I have to say that I was fine before he would accept it?
Oh, he’d accept it when I finally stopped always lying about it. Last time we did not place as high as I wanted us to, I had a full-blown breakdown. Of course he would be worried about that happening a second time.
"If you're worried if I am going to cry again, I'm not." I laughed at myself. "But it sucks that we lost."
