"Don’t worry about that. Are you open to it?"
I shrugged as I squeezed my eyes shut. "I'm not opposed to it."
Javi pulled back from the hug to look at me and our gazes found each other. "So, if I help you get into therapy, you'll go to it?"
"Yes." I gave him a sure nod, my eyes boring into his so he would know I meant it. "You would do that for me?"
"Eli, c'mon, I feel like we've already established this. I would do anything for you."
Thirty-one
Eli
Ispent Christmas Day with Ricky just like we did every year. Ever since I started spending a lot of my time with Javier, we spent less time just the two of us. I missed my best friend and it felt great to be around him again. We played video games and stuffed our faces with dessert, it felt just like old times.
Javier asked me to spend Christmas with him, but I couldn’t break Ricky and I’s tradition. That was how we determined that I would spend Christmas Eve with him and his family instead.
The Cortez’s had a lot of extended family over and I got to meet all of them. Each one of them were very friendly, but I couldn't tell you any of their names if I was held at gunpoint even though everyone introduced themselves to me. It was a bit chaotic. There were at least twenty-five people in the house at once, so I couldn't go anywhere without someone else being there. I guess it didn't matter, though, because I spent the entire day glued to Javi.
He broke us free from the chaos and brought me upstairs to give me my gift in private. Nervously, he pulled a tiny box out of his pocket and opened it to reveal a necklace. It was a thick silverchain bar necklace, the skinny pendant hanging vertically in the middle. Inscribed in tiny letters on the pendant was 'E & J.’
"Woah," I whispered as I ran my finger over the inscribed letters.
He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them. "I noticed you don't wear any jewelry, so I thought you might like it. I got it inscribed that way whenever you're not okay you can remember how much I care about you. It’s cheesy, I know."
I felt a rush of warmth that went all the way to my cheeks as I stared at the necklace. It looked pretty expensive, but I was afraid to ask just how much it cost. I had never owned something as nice as it before.
"I love it." I was still whispering. It was like I couldn't find the bass in my voice because of the sweetness of his gesture.
He chuckled softly. "I'm glad you love it."
Keeping the necklace in my hand, I rolled off the bed and walked toward his closet. I spoke as I opened it. "Uh, so now that I am thinking about it, my gift may seem childish compared to yours. I didn’t mean for it to be that way, I just thought you would like it."
Javi watched me from the bed. "You got me a gift?"
I nodded as I rummaged through all of the junk in the closet. It was unorganized, to say the least. "Emerson actually let me use her debit card to buy it, with a budget of course. She said it was my gift for always doing her math homework."
"You could’ve gotten something for yourself with that money."
I had found the gift that Gabriela had hid in the corner of the closet underneath a pile of clothes. It wasn't wrapped so I held it behind my back to keep it hidden as I walked toward him.
When I got to their house earlier that day, I immediately found Gabriela and got her to hide the gift for me. I didn't wantJavi to know that I got him something until he was ready to give me what he bought for me. I thought it would be a nice surprise since we didn't think I would be able to get him anything in the first place.
I had a little money saved—very little. By very little I meant that all I would have been able to buy was a couple of boxes of cereal, and that was not enough to buy what I wanted for him. I asked Emerson to help me out when she was in one of her better moods and to my surprise, she agreed. She handed her card to me and assured me that if I went over the budget she gave, she would never be that kind again.
“Why would I do that?” I asked seriously. “Then you wouldn’t have gotten a present from me.”
I then dramatically revealed the soft brown teddy bear with hazel green eyes to him. His lips curled into a soft smile as he took in the sight of the bear that was about the size of his torso. Javi took it from my hands and rubbed his hand over the fuzziness.
"I know that you aren't five years old, but it reminded me of you," I chuckled awkwardly. I held the hand of the bear and turned it upward which showed the tiny heart on its palm. "See how on its hand it says, 'I love hugs?’"
"Well, I do love hugs, so accurate." Javi blinked softly as he gave the bear a tight squeeze. "I love the gift, Eli. So much."
I kneeled onto the bed in front of him, the weight of my body resting on my fists as I leaned forward. He was still holding the bear like his life depended on it.
"Really? I thought you would, but I wasn't sure. I've always liked teddy bears because they’re so fluffy and soft. They're always there when you need them because they literally can never go anywhere. Obviously, that's because they’re inmate objects, but still. And…I don't know, I just like them." I took a small breath. "I realize that I'm rambling about damn teddybears and that this is pretty cheesy. I just thought you should understand why I wanted to give it to you."
Javi was biting the inside of his cheek as he listened to me. When I finished speaking, he didn't respond right away, he continued watching me with a small smirk.
