I had not seen it, but by their reactions it must have been pretty bad. "I hear you, but this isn’t totally a bad thing. He could've really beaten the shit out of me, but he didn't. I hit him and he moved on."
"Why?" he managed.
I looked between him and Gabi with a raised brow. "Why what?"
"Would he ever go so far as to beat the shit out of you?"
I chewed on my bottom lip and my gaze hit the floor. I saw his hand flutter toward the door, trying to shoo his sister away as politely as possible. She didn't make any jokes or protest before she quietly left.
The chair creaked as I shifted a bit and rested my elbow on the counter. "He wouldn't and he hasn't. Well—he would, but he wouldn't."
Javi wrapped his arm around me comfortingly. "I don't understand."
"Me neither." I let out a breathy laugh and then my eyes met his and clearly nothing about this was screaming funny to him. It wasn’t truly funny to me either, especially since I was pretty sure I was beginning to feel the effects of the marijuana.
Then I remember what Gabriela said. Javier was upset the last time this happened. I didn't want him to be. "Are you mad?"
"Not at you. I just don't get it, who does that to their sibling? This wasn’t a petty sibling fight where you hit each other a few times and move on. He was seriously trying to hurt you."
I nodded as my teeth grinded against each other. "You’re right, but I don’t want you to be mad at him either."
His hand tensed around my arm and his jaw tightened. “Don’t ask me to not be pissed. I want to hurt anyone that hurts you.”
The grueling vexation in his tone shocked me. I would bet money that Javier Cortez had never been in a fight a day in his perfect life. No one would want to hurt him, and even if they did Javi would use his charms to deescalate the situation before it got out of hand. My rival was not a violent person, so to hear the edge in his tone and the fury behind it was uncanny.
I blinked. “Really?”
“Yes, Eli. No one gets to put their hands on you and get away with it, not when I have something to do with it.”
My heart swelled at his words and it made tears try and form in my eyes. I wanted to jump out of the chair and smash my lips against his. How could he say something like that and not expect that reaction from me? Sadly, now was not the time.
“Are you not mad at Easton?” he asked.
"I’m always angry with Easton, but I also know he doesn’t act the way he does for no reason."
"Okay…" he drawled, unconvinced. "What's the reason?"
I inhale deeply and then exhale, already regretting opening my stupid mouth. “He blames me for our parents’ death.”
His eyes widened as his lips parted. Javier was frozen in place and staring at me with pure shock. This was the reaction I was expecting, so I gave him a moment to process before I continued.
"My mom died eighteen years ago on my birthday. She passed away a few hours after labor and then my dad died four months after that."
Javi’s lips parted and closed repeatedly before he could find words. “I’m sorry.”
"It’s not your fault.” My eyes darted around the room for something to focus on. My head suddenly felt lighter than normal and my hands were tingling. “The twins are jerks to me because they’ve resented me for making us all orphans. Macy hates me more than the twins do because I ‘murdered her sister,’or whatever. They all blame me, and I can’t really blame them for it.”
As much as I hated the twins for making me feel miserable, I still felt for them. At the end of the day, they were just as hurt as I was.
"But that isn't your fault,” was all he said.
“Let’s not pretend like we don’t know that if I was never born my parents would still be alive,” I stated. “I think the twins only feel as strongly as they do because Macy has preached hatred for me to them all our lives, but their feelings are definitely real."
"Well fuck Macy because you did not ‘murder’ your parents," Javi said unapologetically. "And I don't want to listen to you try and justify her neglect and your siblings' bullying because they're in pain. The same pain that they went through, so did you."
"I am not justifying it. I'm just giving a reason, an explanation." My eyes met his intense gaze again. His eyes were battling between a worried squint and a narrowed glare, unable to decipher which to lean into more.
He pressed his lips together and exhaled forcefully through his nose. I suppressed a groan as I shifted in my seat. My stomach hurt more than I anticipated, and I was struggling to find a comfortable position. Javier noticed it and his teeth dug into his lips. He stared hard but did not comment.
