Or maybe it would have blown up in my face. He would tell me that it was ridiculous for me to be upset over him and his ex. Javier would say that he and I would never have a chance to be anything real even if hell froze over.
I did not fully believe that the latter would happen; Javi had proven a long time ago that he was not the type of person to say such things. Though, the chances were never zero and my mind liked to think the worst. Either way, I should have just talked to him.
Bella blinked. "I am really confused right now."
"So am I." Javi’s jaw was clenched and his gaze was sharp, but he spoke in a calm manner. "Eli, would you come with me?"
I folded my arms and narrowed my eyes. "Why?"
"Come with me," he repeated, his tone low and firm. It was like he was daring me to utter the word ‘no.’
The blood drained from my face and I begrudgingly stood up. I was going to follow him, but he didn’t give me the chance before he gripped my wrist and pulled me alongside him.
We went up the stairs and toward his bedroom while leaving everyone else downstairs to wonder what was going on. He did not shut the door completely, but enough to where the door was not wide open. I stood in front of him nervously because the crease in his forehead made it obvious that he was beyond pissed.
"What's your problem?"
Javier was staring me down but my focus was on the wall behind him. “Why can’t you accept it when I say nothing is wrong?”
"Because you’re lying and you know it," Javier accused. "You've had an attitude all day and I have no clue why. I can't read minds, Elias. What's wrong?"
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
He took a step toward me with his hands firm on his hips. “Why won't you just tell me?"
It was not easy for me to simply say what was wrong because there were too many risks associated with it. Even mapping out all the possible responses he could give me, I still did not feel comfortable enough speaking my mind. What if I had missed one? If he went off script I would be at a loss for words.
But with how close his face was to mine and how determined he was to get the information out of me, I was left without a choice.
"Maybe your ex can tell you,” I said barely above a whisper.
At first his intense gaze held firm, but then it softened. His head tilted to the side as he tried to make sense of what I had just said. I was starting to think he wouldn’t understand it, but then I saw it click inside of him.
His tone was still laced with irritation, but now there was compassion behind it too. "You saw me and Diane in the hallway?"
My hand went to my mouth to bite my fingernail as I nodded.
"Eli, it wasn't anything serious," he reasoned. “That meant absolutely nothing, we were only talking.”
“Well, you were really touchy.”
“Wehugged,” he stressed. “Can I not hug other people?”
"Of course you can, I can’t tell you what to do,” I sneered.
Javi threw his arms out to the side in disbelief. “Well, you’re obviously mad about it. You get angry easily and I try to empathize with you, but it’s hard when I don’t know what's wrong half the time.”
I scoffed. “What else have I been mad about?”
“You’ve been mad at me since the day I met you and I still don’t know the full reason why. Clearly you don’t like to lose, butthat's an entirely different issue in itself. There has to be another reason why you’ve hated me for all of these years.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. Everything I had done before was to avoid a fight, but it was pointless because now we were having one.
“Look at me,” he said firmly. I forced my eyes to meet his. “You do not understand how much it angers me to have to play a guessing game with you. Just tell me what you’ve kept bottled up for so long because I’m getting tired of trying to figure it out.”
My hands were balled so tightly into fists that my fingernails were pricking my skin. Spill to him the main reason for our four year long rivalry? Tell him just how much I envied him and everything he did? Relay to him all of the unworthy and self-loathing emotions I have gained throughout my entire life and how I pushed all of that onto him because I was too weak to do anything else?
Only if you don’t hate me for it.
