‘No,’ I said firmly, and resolved to have a word with Ashlee. Nursery must be exposing her to the whole nuclear family thing, despite the fact that several of her cohort had two mums or two dads and many others were single parents.
‘Why?’ Tilly continued to stare at Ross with the fixed glare of the small child.
‘Er,’ I said, my heart screaming a beat like a difficult jazz solo. ‘It’s complicated.’ I didnotwant to have to go into my carefully age-appropriate talk right now, not with Ross Ventriss hanging over the pair of us with his long legs and his slightly hunched back that made him look like a heron in a suit. He did seem to have relaxed a little now that he had his page of scribbles in his hand though, and he’d almost got as far as smiling.
‘That’s my line,’ he said.
‘Lots of things can be complicated.’ I stood up now and swung Tilly back onto my hip. ‘We ought to be going.’
Around us the wind scuffed through the undergrowth, kicking up leaves like a disgruntled teenager, and whippy little branches swung their arms so their twiggy fingers snatched at us. I shivered. Through the trees I could just see the outline of Elm Cottage, its edges wavering as the more slender of the trunks swayed in the breeze, and I was seized with an immense urge to get home, lock the door of the flat behind us, and sit on the bed with Tilly and watchPeppa Pig. There was something reassuringly workaday about Peppa; no world that contained that ghastly, self-righteous pink monstrosity could spare any room for a spooky old house and flapping wings.
‘I owe you an explanation,’ said Ross. ‘You need to know why it’s all so important to get Elm Cottage empty, and why you have to get that woman to leave.’
‘Isobel Isherwood,’ I said, turning my back on the house and trying not to allow the feeling that it was sniggering while watching me leave. My heart rate was coming back to normal now and had stopped thumping so hard that it had made the background jiggle.
‘I’m sorry?’
‘Her name is Isobel Isherwood. And she’s got birds, well,abird, if all the others that were in there yesterday aren’t part of this shi— This show,’ I self-edited, because Tilly would save up any bad language and bring it all out to show the nursery workers, like she saved interesting stones and bits of grass. ‘So I’m not going back in. I’ve told her the place is being demolished and now it’s over to you.’
Ross sighed again. He’d got his lower lip twisted, caught between his teeth, like a teenage girl in an Instagram pose, but he didn’t seem to be aware of it. ‘I really do need to tell you what’s going on here,’ he said.
‘Home, Mummy,’ Tilly said peremptorily, swinging her socked feet violently and causing Brass to bounce up and down. ‘Now.’
‘I need to take Tilly home,’ I said, trying not to sound apologetic. It was none of Ross’s business how I lived my personal life, and I definitely wasn’t going back into that house again under any circumstances, so it didn’t matter to me what his excuses might be. ‘She was sick this morning and she might be ill.’
Ross looked at Tilly, who turned to stare back at him. His glance was wrinkled with anxiety, hers was complacent, but they shared a certain dark intensity of purpose.
‘Five thousand pounds,’ he said suddenly.
‘What?’ I had begun to walk forward against the pull and drag of the undergrowth, but stopped.
‘I’ll pay you five thousand pounds if you get that woman out of the house.’ He spoke quickly, breathlessly, with the air of reckless determination, as though he would sell everything he owned to raise the money if necessary. But then, did I care? Five thousand pounds. I could find us somewhere to rent with that kind of down payment. Probably. Out of the city, of course, somewhere small, but with a garden and neighbours who didn’t attempt to give the entire building the munchies every time they lit up. A bedroom for Tilly, toys too. A full-time nursery place so I could work a real job, and I didn’t even care what that might be.
Money.Security. But also,birds.
But I’d been prepared to do it for a few hundred, hadn’t I? There was a price on my phobia, clearly.
‘You haven’t got five thousand pounds,’ I said, disentangling a thorny tendril from my coat.
‘I can get it. I’ll tell the TV company it’s special circumstances, they’ll let me have it, I’m sure.’ Ross put a hand on my arm. ‘Please. I reallydoneed to tell you.’
I wondered at that. A TV company was involved? There was nothing about Ross that even hinted at involvement with media of any kind. Maybe he was a location scout? And there would be other people out there who would do this. Plenty of people, maybe not as understanding as me, who would see an elderly lady alone in a house and use physical force to get her out.Physical force or mental cruelty.I remembered how that felt: the silences, the questions – always the questions, with answers I wasn’t certain I could or should give – uncertainty and fear. Isobel Isherwood might not survive that kind of treatment.
Plus also, then I wouldn’t get the five thousand pounds. Even if I couldn’t find somewhere to rent, that would help with Christmas, clothes for Tilly, my car had anMOTlurking in the near future – weneededthat money.
I could do this. I’d done scarier things to keep my daughter safe.
I stood in a small clearing within sight of the road now. My car was still there, parked against the muddy verge, and a neat little grey car was parked behind it, which must be Ross’s. Above us the tree shed golden leaves like rain and in the polished blue sky a few dark dots circled lazily. There was a smell of encroaching winter, sharp and sour, which billowed up from the drifts of dead leaves at our feet.
‘All right,’ I said. ‘I’ll do it, if your explanation is good enough.’
Beside me Ross slumped further. He looked as though he needed to lie down and sleep for a fortnight, so I didn’t let him slump too far.
‘But not now,’ I added. ‘I need to get Tilly home and see if some toast stays down, and you can’t come with me.’
‘Tomorrow?’ He sounded almost indecently eager. I ran the awkward complications of my life through my head. Maybe Tia or Galina would mind Tilly for an hour or so? Then the fear of leaving her cut in and I shook my head.
‘I’ve got Tilly.’
