Disappointment is the worst weight on a heart, and I don’t even know what I was expecting. I’m not supposed to want anything.
Sighing, I force myself out of the comfortable chair and move toward the door. “Cealastra forbid the Dragon King leaves his lair. Have fun all alone,” I toss over my shoulder, stumbling a little as I reach for the doorknob.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
BALE
“Stop.” I leap after Idallia like a lovestruck fool. She turns bleary eyes on me. “You’ll break your neck falling down the stairs.” I crook my fingers at her. “Come back here.” She just stares at me, swaying a little, so I move forward, lightly take her hand, and tug her toward a window. It’s the better way down.
“I think I’ll break more than my neck if I go out the window.” Her hand curls against mine, and my whole chest tightens with the need to pull her into my arms and pretend that nothing else exists in the world.
“And I think you know very well I’m not about to toss you out the window.”
“Debatable,” she mutters, staggering into me. She rights herself just as fast.
My lips jerk up in an involuntary smile, but real humor escapes me. I just had the perfect opportunity to tell her everything, and I still didn’t. My current excuse is that she’s been drinking. What will tomorrow’s excuse be? That the wind blows from the east?
I’ve never felt like the villain in any of the happenings of Ellonrift before. But that’s because I was never selfish about anything until the time to give up Idallia started breathing down my neck.
Still holding her hand in one of mine, I unlatch the window with the other and spread the panes wide.
With only a few words, I could change everything at the next Ellonrift Council. I could rip Rannigan’s double vote away. I could maybe avoid a war.
Instead, I ask her, “What do you see when you look out this window?”
She takes a moment to breathe, steadying herself. I can smell dragon’s brew on her lips and have the acute urge to lick it off, even though I don’t even like the drink that much. She’s tipsy and sleepy, and I should’ve just walked her down the stairs.
“The night sky,” she finally answers. “Too many stars to count.”
“You look up instead of down?” She nods, and I can’t help asking, “Why?”
A breeze caresses her shoulders and lifts her loose hair. She turns her face into it, savoring the mountain air, even though I can tell she’s cold, her skin tensing and pebbling with goose bumps. I drink her in—her fierce beauty, her bright sunshine on hard ice scent—and feel as intoxicated as she is. “Because that’s where we all soar together.”
Happiness jerks a lightning-bolt path across my chest. “You like flying?” Together.
She turns to me, the chill air slapping pink into her cheeks. Her smile makes the floor open beneath my feet, and I feel like I’m falling so fast and hard that not even my wings can catch me. “I love it. The freedom. The thin air. I can see everything from up there, and all the things that have seemed…difficult in my life can’t touch me from way down here.”
“It’s an escape?”
Looking thoughtful, she shakes her head. “Not exactly. Just…a moment apart. When joy defeats everything else.” Her muted, self-conscious laugh tugs at my heart.
“Are you not happy otherwise?” I can’t help squeezing her hand a little harder.
“That’s not what I mean. Flying just makes everything else go away because there’s no room to think about anything but how special it is.” Her brow creases. “But maybe you can’t understand because you’ve had flight ever since you could shift. For me, it’s an unexpected gift.”
“Even after all this time?” Why am I still holding her hand? Why has she not pulled hers away yet?
“I think a million years couldn’t change how special it is.”
My chuckle makes her golden eyes flick to me. “We won’t live a million years. A few thousand, if we’re lucky.” Natality among Ellonrift’s long-lived peoples is very low—nature’s way of balancing our populations. One of the few exceptions was the last royal family of Fanghaven. But then, that was a love match like I’ve rarely seen.
“You’re more than halfway done with your first millennium. Does that ever scare you?”
The only thing scaring me right now is the terrifying need for more that this private moment stirs inside me. “Not really. I think life will have seemed very long by the time I’m old and gray.”
Idallia reaches up, her fingers lightly brushing the hair near my temple. “No gray yet.”
Sensation shudders through me, a roar of fire and desire that makes me desperately want to kiss her. “What else do you like about flying with the Elite Wing?” Maybe keeping her here isn’t just good for me, even if it’s not good for my kingdom. Maybe it’s good for Idallia. What she needs.
