The first deep breath in days fills my lungs when Wade suggests heading into Drayke after dinner. Getting away is just what I need. Bale’s overwhelming essence permeates the entire mountain and reaches me wherever I am, and I can’t shake the feeling that we’re teetering on a precipice.
One of us acts, and everything will be different.
Or we both ignore whatever’s happening between us, and things might be tense for a while, but nothing fundamentally changes.
The problem is…I don’t like either option.
Hurrying to my dresser, I get ready for a night out in Drayke, utterly unsuccessful in ignoring that my head and my heart are at war over Bale. I let them keep fighting and put the finishing touches on my outfit. The form-fitting leather is meant to attract, but I never follow through. Whoever I flirt with tonight might call me a tease, but I don’t care. I want to blow off steam, especially after three rainy days without training.
Well after nightfall, we meet in the lounge on the Elite Wing level of Drayke Mountain. The tavern is no place for Fyrestar, so I know one of the team will fly me down.
Kellan intercepts me before I make it across the room. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine.” I glance past him toward the others. “Back to full strength.” I don’t mention the sinking feeling that regularly swoops through me, that whoosh of dread as the frenzied vampire attack comes back to me in such vivid detail that for a split second, I think it’s happening all over again.
“How do you know?” He frowns. “You weren’t able to train with us, and then it started raining.”
“I worked out with…” I stop. I shouldn’t have to. It’s been literal decades since Kellan and I were together. He needs to get over it, but something in me doesn’t want to say Bale’s name—for both Kellan’s sake and my own.
“Bale?” He does it for me. I nod, my stomach dropping. “I heard about the flight back to the mountain.” His tone is almost neutral.
“It would’ve been a long walk,” I murmur.
He chuckles under his breath. There’s no humor in it. “I’m guessing you need a ride down to Drayke.” My heart starts to pound—and not in a good way. Sweat prickles my nape. “How about it?” he asks. “For old time’s sake.”
I stare at him, not breathing. I do need a ride. But I’d rather stay home than fly with Kellan, especially just after feeling the sleek muscle of Bale’s dragon form between my legs.
Maia makes a beeline for us and slings a proprietary arm around my shoulders. “Idallia is flying down and back with me. We already talked about it.” Relief floods me as she jerks her chin at Kellan, adding, “That way you’re free to stay in town if you get an offer you don’t want to refuse.”
Kellan’s eyes narrow. He looks back and forth between Maia and me, offering a tight smile. “Fantastic. Thank you.” He pivots, shifts, and takes off through one of the big open windows without waiting for the rest of us.
An uneasy laugh leaks out of me along with the breath I was holding. “Thank you.”
She squeezes my shoulders before letting go. “You’ve made yourself clear. He needs to respect it.”
“If I’d known what this was going to be like, I’d never have gone down that path to begin with.” I instantly think of Bale—another wrong path just waiting to happen.
Danica joins us. “Kellan needs to figure himself out. This is getting old for everyone.”
I sigh in utter agreement as Arran comes over and echoes Danica’s words, adding, “He’s not being fair to you, always making you uncomfortable.”
“Was I fair to him?” I glance out the window Kellan flew from. “He thought we were forever.”
“Things don’t always work out.” Arran shrugs, his gaze flitting to Maia. “You can never know what’ll happen.”
“Hmm.” I nod, but I also know that if you don’t try, nothing will happen.
I’m not about to take my own advice, so I keep my mouth shut, even in the face of Arran and Maia’s barely disguised mutual pining.
Wade joins us, his exaggerated swagger instantly lightening the mood. “The look on your face says you’d rather go back to your room right now and be with your birds, but I’m not letting that happen. It’s dragon’s brew tonight, and the first round is on me.” He smiles widely.
I grin back, letting Wade nudge me toward the windows, but deep down, worry still churns inside me. How does one live and work with an ex-lover—or potentially two—for centuries? For the first time, I almost envy humans their short lifetimes.
I look around at the rest of the team as we gather to take off. We’ve all watched Maia and Arran circling each other for decades, but they’re smart. They learned from Kellan and me. The question is, did I learn anything?
My head says yes. My heart and my body say fuck no the second Bale is near me.
My stomach rolls over hard, and I place a hand on my middle. I might be a mess on the inside for more reasons than just my dinner sitting as precariously as ever, but I’m dressed to impress, in black leather pants and a sleeveless black leather top that laces up the front to tie in a bow at the center of my cleavage. A black leather choker covers the fading bite marks, though it’s clear now that they won’t disappear entirely. My long hair feels hot on my back, as if it soaked up the sunshine at the lake that afternoon and kept it there for these cloudy days when I’d need it.
