Maybe I’m not capable of feeling that much. My heart pounds slowly, heavily. Hurting. Except…I know I can.
“I love you, Rim,” I whisper, reaching out to touch him.
“I love you too.”
I wriggle closer to him because he’s warm, though not burning into another life, and I’m cold, maybe losing mine.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
IDALLIA
I sense where I am before I open my eyes. Three warm, heavy bodies surround me, and the air smells of cold rock, pine-wrapped mountains, and brisk autumn air. I take a deep breath, savoring the feel and scents of home.
“I knew you were alive. And now I know you’re awake.” Sybil’s voice pulls a weak smile from me.
“Let her be,” Stuart chides softly.
I open my eyes to find them seated in the chairs by my bedside. My birds occupy their usual positions, with Rim and Sol on either side of me and Fyrestar warming my feet. To my instant relief, they look fine. Fyrestar appears uninjured, and there are no marks on Rim’s neck.
But then, they heal faster than I do.
“How long has it been this time?” I croak in a scratchy whisper. “Water?” I struggle to sit up.
“Long enough that someone was going to have to force broth down your throat pretty soon.” Sybil pours me some water from the pitcher on my night table.
I take the cup she offers, barely able to close my fingers around it. I can’t remember being this weak in a long time—maybe ever. The daylight streaming through my open window shocks my eyes, and I squint at my friends. “You know I can go ages without food.”
Water is different, and I eagerly sip down the cool liquid. I just wish my hands didn’t shake. Sybil and Stuart both notice and exchange worried glances. Fyrestar’s eyes narrow, and his plumage grows even warmer. I do like toasty feet and smile in gratitude, though I’m not sure that warm toes will help my strength return—or melt the cold nugget of fear lodged deep in my chest.
“Maybe you can go without food when you’re healthy,” Sybil says, “but when vampires drink half your blood, it’s a whole different story.”
“Half, huh?” I drain the rest of my cup, but even my own throat working reminds me of vampires forcing pointed teeth through my skin and sucking out my blood in great, thieving gulps. “Are you sure you’re not exaggerating?”
“A lot, then.” She frowns at me. “Too much.”
I shrug. “Must not have been too much, or I wouldn’t be waking up.”
She huffs in impatience, her tone sharpening. “And how do you feel?”
“Like utter shit,” I admit. “Awful.” Inside and out. I shouldn’t have been flippant. Guilt gnawing at me, I say, “I’m sorry.”
Her expression softens. “Like I said, too much. You are lucky to be waking up.” Her voice wavers, and I feel even worse for being a pain in the ass. I just hated the way they were looking at me. So scared. I’m scared enough right now as it is.
Stuart leans in and puts his arm around his wife. “I’m sorry the torque didn’t work better. Maybe it needs to be thicker. Cover more of your neck.”
I shake my head. “No, it was amazing. It totally disintegrated two bloodsuckers’ teeth.”
“It didn’t stop the rest.” With his free arm, he waves a vague hand toward my body. I instantly feel a stabbing twinge in my thigh and at the top of my breast.
The knot gripping my stomach tightens, and every horrible, too-sharp memory of the battle comes flooding back. Frenzied vampires. Me. Rim.
I clutch my cup so hard the pottery shatters in my hand. I stare at the chunks in my lap. “Good thing that was empty.”
“At least a few sips of water are already helping you regain your strength,” Sybil says archly as she stands and helps me pick the pieces off my blanket. She dumps them into the basket I use for trash before sitting again, her expression somewhat less anxious.
I guess my show of renewed vigor helped ease her worries. I don’t tell her it was more about fear than strength, but my birds seem to know. Fyrestar watches me closely. Rim and Sol snuggle in.
“Is everyone else okay?” I ask. “What happened?”
