I sink into my bed, thoroughly depressed again. I see Sybil wither and fade before my eyes. I refocus my gaze and she’s back to normal, but I can’t help thinking that half her life is already gone, and at least half my time with her is already spent.
Trying to hide my sudden sadness, I ask, “How’s Stuart?” They found each other here, after Bale recruited them both decades ago. Sybil joined the ranks of Drayke Mountain’s prestigious healers, and Stuart has magical gifts that come in handy all the time. He has a touch of foresight, like me, and he’s particularly good at dampening fae magic, which makes it harder for the fae to hoodwink anyone here with their cunning wiles. When a powerful fae puts their full magic into it, they can probably convince anyone to do anything, including Bale.
“Stuart’s worried about you,” she says. “When you arrived on Kellan’s back, you gave us both a scare. We figured it must be dire.”
I laugh even though my heart’s not really in it. “I guess it was.” Five days. That’s terrifying. And three for Fyrestar worries me even more.
Sybil stands, stretching after what was probably a long, chilly day of keeping vigil at my bedside. She should’ve lit a fire in the hearth, even if I almost never do. “I need to get back to the infirmary. I’ve hardly been there in days, and it’s probably chaos by now. We have a whole slew of new recruits who are either terrified after leaving home for the first time or flirting wildly with anything that moves. I’m not sure which is worse, but no one seems to be studying their spells.”
I find a real laugh this time. “Aren’t you glad you’re head healer now? You get to do all the fun stuff, like endless scroll keeping and wrangling horny teenagers.”
She levels a bland look at me. “You still give me plenty of real challenges.”
She’s got me there. “Thanks for everything.” I pluck at my blanket. “For staying, and bringing me food…”
“Always.” She flashes a cheeky grin, whispering, “On Kellan’s back!” to me just before she turns and walks to the door.
I half-groan, half-laugh, and she chuckles on her way out, leaving me alone with my birds. My smile widens. Everly would’ve kissed my cheek, fussed a little, and tucked my sheets around me, but Sybil has always tried to be more of a friend than a mother to me.
My smile fades. I just hope she doesn’t think I’m her cause and in need of protection. I have enough of that from the team.
CHAPTER SIX
BALE
I’m intolerably bored without Idallia. And I’m not the only one.
Daily workouts are bland for everyone, the fighting half assed and the faces grim. Even the wing guards look like dull dots in the sky instead of deadly firebirds. Without her on the training field, it’s even more obvious that she’s the spark that sets the Elite Wing on fire. I knew it would be this way when I mapped the team out nearly two hundred years ago and brought her in last, but the blatant evidence of it every time she’s laid up with injuries causes my chest to cramp.
I was supposed to let her go decades ago. I’d meant to.
Unease bites at my gut like buzzards picking through entrails. I don’t want to hold her back, but setting her on her intended path will mean the end of everything we know. She’s completely unaware that everyone looks to her for cues, too focused on her birds and on feeling isolated when that couldn’t be further from the truth. The Elite Wing would follow her into an active volcano. I doubt they’d follow me.
The irony is, if I tell her everything, I might not even need the Elite Wing. Torridaig would be better off without her. But I’m convinced none of us would be, including me.
I made a plan for Idallia because I had to, but it was also a plan for me, for Torridaig, for Ellonrift. It’s the only plan in my whole life that I haven’t respected at all.
Or at least, not anymore.
Everything was on track until Idallia started a relationship with Kellan, and I didn’t want to shoot a flaming arrow straight into their happiness. The intended strategy veered even further off course after the relationship ended.
When did I start spending more time with Idallia? I’m not entirely sure. It happened just as gradually as valuing her insight more than anyone else’s and delaying the moment of truth.
Fyrestar suddenly bolts toward us like a shooting star. He swoops low over the training field, his wings and tail feathers trailing fire. He’s the brightest thing I’ve seen in days, and my heart starts to pound. If he’s blazing this much, it must be good news.
“Idallia’s awake!” he caws out to us before circling back toward Drayke Mountain, drizzling sparks into the lake as he banks sharply and speeds away.
Relief keeps my pulse thumping hard. Five days is too long.
I sheathe my sword, knowing that’s it for training today. Everyone’s concentration will be shot, mine most of all.
The way the team takes off immediately, their scales aglow, both comforts and worries me. They didn’t even ask for permission to go, proving once again that Idallia is the flame fusing us together, not me. But no matter my regrets when it comes to Idallia, giving her these people and the warbirds when she didn’t have anyone will never be one of them. This is her home.
I hang back until the others disappear into Drayke Mountain before taking off in the same direction. They’ll get cleaned up and go visit her, their phoenixes perching all around on her oddly bare-bones furniture and the sole, large window frame in her room. I’ll wait until later. I’m too solitary to want to join the group.
Or maybe I want her all to myself?
The idea comes from out of nowhere and leaves me reeling, that thought just as harrowing as any of the rest.
