“Konstantina?” Carver let slip a humorless smile. “I actually hadn’t thought about her in a while.”
Great.So not only had she confessed to being totally inexperienced with men, but she’d just reminded Carver of his tragic past and how he’d never love again. Shewason fire.
She dug her feet deeper into the sand, searching for the damp coolness beneath the hot, dry grains blanketing the surface. “At least it makes fake marriage easier.”
“Why?” Carver turned back to her, his brows snapping together. “What do you mean?” Sunset hues had overtaken the ocean basin, turning his eyes the color of liquid metal. Unlike the sea, they weren’t calm. They were pearlescent thunder.
Awkwardness bled through her. She should’ve known better than to bring up Konstantina. Carver turned into a lion every time, and there was no getting this thorn out of his paw. “You’re in love with a ghost, and I don’t know what I’m missing.” She shrugged. “See? Easier.”
His expression blanked, then tensed. “First of all, I never thought it was hard. Second, I’m not in love with a ghost.”
She snorted. It just popped out, unbidden. “You’ve only been wallowing in misery for years because of her.”
“I wallowed in misery because ofmeand the stupid notions I was holding on to.”
“Don’t snarl at me. I wasn’t even there when she left you.” Bellanca flicked a sand flea off her ankle and rubbed the spot where it bit her. “I’m sorry I brought it up. Forget I mentioned her.”
“No.”
Her brow furrowing, she pivoted to look at him. “No?”
The muscle below his eye twitched. “It’s like you don’t even know me sometimes.”
The sheer hurt from his words caught her off guard, and despite the crackling-hot blood hurtling through her veins, shock froze her solid. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She didn’tknowhim? Carver was the only person who really knew her, so if it wasn’t reciprocal, she had nothing.
“It meansask questionsinstead of decreeing absolutes and assuming you already have all the answers.”
Her jaw dropped open. She snapped it shut with a clack of teeth. “Fine. Here’s a question for you. Is love a stupid notion?”
His eyes flared, storm-gray and wary. Clearly, she’d surprised him. “Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is a stupid notion,” he finally said. “And a waste of time.”
Was that how he felt about all those years of pining after Konstantina? Before she died? After? What a sad conclusion after all the effort he’d put into loving the woman and then hiding his suffering once she was gone.
“What? Nothing to say?” he asked in a voice that mocked her.
She nearly burned the smirk right off his face. “What do you want me to say? The life we had is over, anyway. Nothing to do with it even applies here.”
“I disagree entirely.”
She scowled. “Why? Your family’s gone. Your home is gone. You’re a soldier, not a prince. No position. No wealth. No horse. No—” She was about to saylove of your lifeand bit off the words. Carver hadn’t had Konstantina anyway. He hadn’t for years.
As for Zephyrus, Carver barely mentioned the stallion he’d been with through thick and thin. Not because he didn’t miss him terribly, but because hedid.
“We’restill together.” He scowled back at her, his expression as stiff and black as his evening stubble.
“So?” That didn’t seem like much compared to what he’d lost.
“Yeah, I know.” His eyes hardened, and an almost cruel smile played around his mouth. “You would’ve left without me.”
“There was no reason for us both to give up everything.”
He turned back to the sea, the water calm, his countenance storming. “You wish I wasn’t here?”
“Gods! I didn’t say that.” Sparks detonated in her loose hair. They were alone, and she didn’t even try to contain them. She was so sick of holding herself back, so godsdamned suffocated beneath tight headscarves and endless pretense.
Carver threw the stone he was still holding into the waves. “Since I’m here, and we’re stuck together, do you want to know?” He glanced at her. “Are you ready for that?”
“Ready for what?” she asked in confusion.
