I slide my fingers over his broad shoulders again, and Griffin reaches up, pulling my hands down. He tugs until my upper body is flush against his back.
“What do you think?” he asks, his voice low, quiet, and full of weary gravel that speaks of the heartache and emotion of the day.
“I think you’re a genius,” I say, propping my chin on the top of his head and draping my arms more comfortably across his chest.
He squeezes our clasped hands. “Ianthe stays with us.”
“Yes, definitely.” There was never any question in my mind. “What about Bellanca?” I ask.
He inhales deeply before letting out a gusty breath. “I don’t think you could get rid of her if you tried.”
I laugh a little, my exhale stirring his hair. “You really want to go home?” I ask.
He nods. “Don’t you?”
I try to straighten away from him, but Griffin holds on to my hands.
“Cat?”
I swallow so hard before answering that he probably feels my throat move against the back of his head. “It’s daunting to think about facing your parents when I’m the reason for their loss.”
Griffin, who was just starting to relax, goes noticeably rigid again. He lets go of my hands and then looks at me over his shoulder. “Nothing that happened today was your fault.”
“I was never nice to Piers. I never even tried.”
A shadow settles over Griffin’s features, darkening his expression. “He was never nice toyou.Henever even tried!”
The anger in Griffin’s voice takes me aback. That’s not just a shadow in his eyes; that’s fury. Intense and blazing.
“That may be true,” I concede, “but he was also right about everything. I took Cassandra from him without even asking. I’ve put you, Carver, and Jocasta into dangerous situations again and again. And we’re not stopping now. It’s not over yet, and who knows what will happen. Today. Tomorrow. There’s still my mother to deal with. And Fisa. You may be the hand helping to guide this sword, but everyone—you, the Gods—you’ve all made it perfectly clear that I’m the tip of the blade. I’m going to have to start swinging now, and people will get cut. That’s war, and life, and there’s no way around it. Piers was scared for his family. He was completely justified in his worry. And in his anger toward me.”
Griffin swivels fully around and stares at me in disbelief. “So you have a conversation. You express your opinion, your opposition,” he growls. “You withdraw your support. You go live as a Gods damn bloody hermit if you want to. Youdo nottry to banish your brother’s wife!”
I drop my gaze. “Your wife?”
He stands. “Yes, mywife. What kind of question is that?”
I glance back up, finding outrage and incomprehension on his face. “Do you… Do you think you would have loved me if the Gods hadn’t meddled?”
Griffin stares at me.
“I mean… I just—”
“I know what you mean,” he cuts in harshly.
My heart suddenly hammers in my chest. “You’ve told me you never really wanted anyone else—in a permanent way, at least—and then when you saw me, you knew I was the one. The one you wanted to claim, like you’d been waiting for me.” I curl my bare toes into the thick sheepskin rug, looking down again. “But it sounds like they made it that way, madeyouthat way, made it inevitable. What if they forced—”
Griffin grabs my shoulders in a hard grip. I gasp, jerking my head back up.
He loosens his hold. “We’re not puppets, Cat. I have a mind of my own.”
“But they push. They shove. They suggest.” And Gods, don’t I know it. They’ve been doing it all my life.
“They don’t control my thoughts. They have no sway over my heart.”
“But what if they do?” I whisper, raising my hands to his chest. I don’t touch him, though. I curl my fingers into fists and then let my hands drop again. “We don’t know.”
Griffin gives me a gentle shake, urging me to look him in the eyes. “Then I don’t care. It is what it is. You are the missing part of me, and I amnevergiving you up.”
