“You think you’re so clever, so above mankind, but you’re not even smart enough to understand us lowly humans and our mortal hearts.” I glance down at the great, somber valley I’ve seen the bottom of too many times and then laugh right in the Titan’s face. The sound couldn’t be more razor-sharp if my teeth were serrated to points. “You need me to find the spark—that buried ember of magic that will get us both out of here and make your dreams come true. But you drown me in pain. You show me everything I don’t have to live for. You fling me from agony to loss.”
I shake my head at this ancient God who hasn’t roamed the worlds since the creation of human beings. The only people he knows are the ones who got stuck right here in Tartarus, just like him. Probably not the best slice of humanity from which to learn. Zeus supplied him with the essentials about me, but clearly that wasn’t enough. How could it be, when I’ve just at long last understood something essential about myself?
The Elemental Magic I only recently learned was inside me and could never grasp how to use finally leaps to my bidding, ready and eager. It’s all suddenly so clear. I’m not powerful just because of my heritage, or my innate magic, or my stubborn-as-a-donkey will. I’m powerful because there are people in my life who refused to let me be alone, even when I was so desperately convinced that I should be, even when I thought that solitude was what I both needed and deserved.
The steadfast weight of Griffin’s devotion and optimism, of Beta Team’s loyalty and friendship, of my new family’s acceptance and love… All of it slowly bore down on the conflicted scales inside of me until they tipped, and Elpis climbed into the brighter cup. Now, in the endless gray twilight of Tartarus, that brighter side of the balance thunks down hard, once and for all. The magic I’ve needed isn’t about fear. It’s always been about hope.
Even without wings, I suddenly soar. “Listen carefully, you imbecilic, incompetent, worthless fool of a God, because I’m about to give you the secret to dealing with mankind. And you can tell Zeus when you see him next, since he obviously needs the reminder.” I step toward Perses again, getting so close I burn from his primeval magic and heat. Currents of lightning snap and spiral a sizzling path through my blood, no longer dormant or hidden from me. I can have my husband. I can have a family. I can have my kingdom. I can have it all, because despite my flaws, I deserve happiness, and I’ll do my very best to bring it to others as well.
“A crushed spark never ignites,” I tell Perses. “That’s not how you fan the flame.”
I shoot out my hand and smack the Titan right in the sternum just as a lightning bolt rolls down my arm. It doesn’t fracture the air, but it fractures Perses. The immediate crack of thunder shocks my eardrums and makes Prometheus let out a long, low moan. Through smoke and noise, I see the bloody, charred mess of what’s left of the Titan’s barrel chest as he flies backward off the ledge. I catch the look of utter agony on his face and don’t feel a hint of remorse.
A deep, steadying breath anchors inside me my previously elusive power. I take control of the turbulent magic, learning it, taming it, and finally making it my own. The storm settles, but an underlying current of lightning still hums and purrs in my veins, branching out through every part of me and settling like a lazy cat in the sun into all the places where I know I can always find it again.
Grim satisfaction curves my mouth into a hard almost-smile Mother could be proud of. Then, with just a thought, I make the power ignite again and shoot another bolt straight out in front of me. The Elemental Magic only Zeus and I possess leaves a zigzagging path of light across the otherwise monochrome sky. It cuts through the gray and hangs there, waiting. It’s my door.
Now I have to find my wings.
* * *
I don’t think for a second that this is going to be easy. I don’t feel even a tickle in my chest or a pinch in my shoulder blades, and that can’t be good.
Not to motivate me—I’m pretty Gods damn motivated now—but because I can’t stand the emptiness here for one more second while I try to figure this out, I use my own blood to draw the same archaic magic symbols that Perses used back on to the rock wall. I paint the four sides of the square, focus all my heart and mind on Griffin, and open a window back to him.
He hasn’t moved, but the shadows in the bedroom have grown heavier. There are still no flaming candles. There’s no fire burning in the hearth. He sits in a chair and stares out the open window, his face so bleak and filled with pain that I don’t know if he’s desperately hoping against all hope that I’ll appear, or trying to come to grips with the fact that I won’t. He’s utterly still. Palpably devastated.
“I’m coming,” I tell him, wiping my bloodstained hands on my pants and knowing full well that Griffin can’t hear me. But by Gods, I am.
Wings. No human should have them, but I somehow do.So where are they?
I pace back and forth along the narrow rock ledge, thinking,wishing. I push out with my lungs. Spread my arms. Tense my back. There’s no flutter in my chest. No tickling brush of wings against my ribs. There’s absolutely nothing besides the cold lump of worry that starts to inhabit my breast. It grows with each passing, wingless moment, despite the latent heat now coursing through my veins from the Elemental Magic I’ve found at last.
Multipleelements. I understand now that it’s not just lightning stirring my blood. The ground rumbling under my feet? Fissures snaking up walls, and storms brewing all around me? It was all there—air, earth, the thunderbolt—manifesting for the first times as those scales inside me tipped slowly out of the quagmire of my past, tipped slowly toward believing that I could have—that Ideserved—a better life.
I nearly snort out loud. Funny to think that something as intangible as brightness outweighs muck and mud.
I turn on my heel and walk the length of the ledge again. Starting to balance my hopes against my fears revealed my magic to me. Finally understanding optimism brought the power to life.
I spin around, my frenetic strides devouring the small shelf of rock and forcing me to turn again after only a few steps. I clench my hands into fists. Too bad I didn’t figure this out sooner. I could have given Galen Tarva the thrashing he deserved. I know without a doubt that I could crack open the ground right now and toss the broken rocks around on a gale. I could have helped Ianthe fight.
A sharp pain slices through me at the thought of my sister. Gods, I hope she’s all right.
I whirl again, muttering a curse under my breath. It’s infuriating to know that I’ve been both spoiled rotten and methodically crushed by the powers that reign. I can’t even pretend to be surprised. No one ever said Olympians were logical. They’re mercurial, vengeful, fickle—a Gods awful lot of all-powerful beings playing around with people and worlds because what else does one do with an eternity of existence?
That doesn’t mean they don’t care about outcomes. About individuals. Aboutme—although I’m not entirely certain that’s good fortune or bad. My life would have been very different without their interest, and likely a lot shorter. The Gods’ actions are mysteries, their dealings and emotions unpredictable. They measure time in eons rather than in years and can set trials into motion with generations to spare.
What’s less of a mystery to me now is Zeus. The King of Gods is a stinker, smellier than a round of goat cheese. Thalyria went to the dogs, so Grandpa Zeus set me up as the new Origin, the living, breathing equivalent ofHey, let’s try this!
I scowl, whipping around again and pacing with energy at odds with the dull monotony of Tartarus. I guess I should never have expected so much from a deity with his own private, eternal torture chamber. He was bound to be lacking a heart.
Self-determination?Sure, with a few major tweaks and significant nudges along the way.
Healing?Here, have Griffin—a great force of stubbornness predestined just for you. Not only will he eventually succeed in making you hate yourself less, but he’ll push you into that pesky destiny you’ve been trying so hard to avoid.
Bring Thalyria full circle?Why not? If we can. That’s everyone’s plan, after all—the Gods’ and ours. Why not bask in a little peace and glory before whatever new path we establish opens up all avenues again?
I shake my head, stomping along the ledge. Endless cycles. Human choices. The Gods watching it all and manipulating outcomes. Because above all, we’re entertainment to them, albeit entertainment they might become attached to.
