I squeeze my eyes, fighting the flash of images, but they bombard me anyway. My stomach turns and my chest grows tight.
Bile rises in my throat, burning it, and acidity hits my tongue. “Oh my gosh. I’m gonna throw up.” My hands fly over my mouth and nose.
Victor dashes to my side, dropping the plastic bag.
“Oh, no, don’t come close to me.”
He leans in. “Breathe. Just breathe,” he whispers in my ear.
I warned him. His choice. I won’t be around to do his laundry when puke gets on his clothes.
“Go on, breathe.”
And I do as I’m told, which is rare. One breath in. One breath out. Mom and Alek always complain how rebellious I am. Mom lost her claim on telling me what to do the moment she became an addict. And Alek… he abandoned me for a better life, which I don’t blame him for—I helped push him in that direction after all—but he’s not the boss of me.
One breath in.
One breath out.
“You’re safe. Safe. Do you hear me? Safe, Tia.”
Victor pulls me into a tender embrace. He’s careful not to squeeze too hard, but that’s exactly what I need. I crush my body into his and shake uncontrollably.
“What if Alek hadn’t come in time…”
I swallow the word “kidnapped.” I can’t even say it. I don’t want to think it. I can’t believe Charlie almost got his monster hands on me. Last week the stab wound, this week an escaped kidnapping… what will happen when he finds me? I shut my eyes then immediately open them again.
I must disappear. I must protect them.
Ohmigod.
I was so focused on running away I didn’t realize how bad things had gotten. Dizziness shows up suddenly as an uninvited guest, getting ahold of my muscles, shaking them, twisting them, making them weak.
My body wants to crumple to the ground. I bury my head in Victor’s smooth chest and hold on to him. I’m face-to-face with the bull, which doesn’t appear so threatening anymore. But my future is threatened. My chin and lips tremble as they take on more and more wetness gushing from my eyes.
It would be so easy to have a strong man like Victor protect me, but it’s wishful thinking. I stop a whimper from escaping my mouth.
I stir in Victor’s arms, but he’s not releasing me. For some odd reason, his tight hug doesn’t send me running for the stairs. What is it about him that radiates peace and safety?
Must be his size and wide shoulders.
“Tia,” his voice is barely audible, but still has an effect on my body.
The way he says my given name is so… annoying. I sigh. Who am I kidding? I love the way he says my name and the fact that he uses it. Why does it make me feel strong and confident and desired?
My body regains some of its previous strength, and I welcome back my stamina.
Thousands of ants march in my stomach. I need to stop myself from going boy-crazy. Victor is nothing like the dream guy I have on my vision board. He doesn’t look like that man in the picture. I would have never cut out a picture of a huge, tattooed guy, or an MMA fighter for that matter.
The tears dry. The shaking subsides. Only then does Victor release me.
“Sorry. I’ll be okay.” Hot waves rush into my head, and I’m pretty sure my cheeks are red.
“Don’t be. You’re trying to deal with the aftermath.”
I can’t believe I got myself into this mess and made so many mistakes. Charlie is protected by the freaking law. I didn’t even mention anything to my mom about the incident with Charlie last week because, one—she’s not sober most of the time, and two—she won’t defend me. She may even say I deserved it.
The last time I told Mom the men she brought to the house flirted with me, she told me it was because of the way I swayed my hips in front of them. She called me a troublemaker, kicked me out of the house when another strange man appeared at the door, and put on the safety lock. I slept on the stairs in front of the apartment that night. Pissing off my mother had consequences. And I’d had it with her punishments.
