Will he let me walk free?
Even if I manage to pay the debt, will heeverlet me walk away?
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Victor, Alek, and Abi haven’t left my side for almost two months. Tomorrow is Victor’s first pro fight. I haven’t heard from Charlie, and the anticipation of him coming out of nowhere again, hurting me, or hurting Victor, accelerates the tightness in my chest. My brother and Abi take turns staying close to me at home, trying to take my mind off things, walking me to work and class while Victor trains for the fight.
I’m risking Victor, mostly, since he was the one Charlie threatened, but Abi and Alek are not safe either. No matter how much I insisted all of them keep their distance, they refused to stay away. These last two months I’ve lived in constant fear of Charlie ambushing me somewhere on campus or even in my own apartment. Abi witnessed a few of my nightmares and ran to my bed as soon as the screaming started.
Victor and I sneaked in quick kisses, hidden touches, and lustful glances when Alek was not watching, but maybe Charlie was. But as we’re getting close to Victor’s first professional fight, everyone’s mind is preoccupied with it, especially Victor’s. He spends entire days with his coach and team at the gym. He texts me regularly, but as the fight grows closer, his texts come in less often. I want him to win as much as I want him to be next to me right now, kissing me, touching me.
These three amazing human beings are my new family—the only people I love. The fact that I still haven’t told Victor I love him makes my heart hurt. I’m such a dumbass.
As I board the plane to Vegas with Abi and Alek, my body is tense, my muscles twitch, and my chest’s heavy.
Three days to Charlie’s deadline. To Doomsday.
Why do I feel like I’m flying to hell and there’s no coming back? Abi and Alek’s faces beam with excitement.
Victor is not traveling with us. His dad’s orders—probably to make sure Victor isn’t distracted. They flew in earlier, and some of his teammates from the gym did the four-and-a-half hour drive instead. Victor hasn’t spoken a word about his dad, but he doesn’t have to. I know Nash is pissed we’ll be there, especially me. Alek may not have put two and two together yet, but Victor’s dad certainly has.
We ascend into the cloudless sky. The window seat lets me hide my blank stare as I gaze into the horizon, daydreaming. Or, wishing I was daydreaming. Endless blue sky is everywhere. It’ll always be there with its infinite space, even when dark clouds appear. My mind races and my thoughts become jumbled. The flight from Los Angeles to Las Vegas is short—barely fifty minutes. What feels like only a few minutes later, the plane is already descending and so is my heart.
Once we’ve checked into our hotel rooms, Abi and Alek ask me to go out with them to have dinner, to have fun in the city. But I’ve lost my appetite. My brother misinterprets my refusal and tells me I’ll be okay tomorrow at the noisy arena because he and Abi will be next to me the entire time.
Oh, Alek!He thinks I’m going to be scared with the fighting, blood splattering on the floor, the roaring crowd. Months ago, when he saved me from the attack at Mom’s, he would have been right. The fight scene would have put me on edge. But now, I’m no longer bothered by the violence and the aggressiveness.
It’s not that at all.
It’s my foolish heart. It doesn’t want to stop twisting and turning.
I haven’t heard a word from Victor. I imagine him giving interviews, going through the weigh-in with confidence, and talking to his opponent at the press conference. I refuse to turn on the TV. The sight of him would exacerbate the pain in my chest. I want to touch him. I want him next to me. I want to kiss him.
Abi and Alek finally leave me alone. I pace the empty hotel room. My phone buzzes and I quickly swipe the screen to find a text from Victor.
Victor: I’m in the lobby. Dinner?
Thank goodness.
Me: Coming.
Heart pounding, I push the elevator call button twenty times. After the doors open with a ding, I enter and am thankful no one is inside to hear the thrashing of my heart against my chest.
I scan the vast space of the lobby but I can’t find Victor. And then I sense him behind me. I turn and jump into his arms. He catches me with ease. I stay wrapped in his body for a few minutes, wishing it could last a lifetime. Tonight I’ll tell him the words I haven’t been able to utter yet. I inhale his familiar Old Spice body wash and close my eyes.
“I missed you.” I want to slap myself for not saying “I love you” instead.
I hate myself for letting the past and the threat from Charlie weigh so much on me, holding me back, that I can’t speak the truth to Victor. But once I say those three little words, it’ll pull Victor into my troubles even more. There will be no coming back from it. I exhale a heavy breath, empty of words and full of worries. I finally release him.
“I’m loving the baseball cap at ten in the evening,” I tease.
Victor leans in and presses his soft lips to mine, and I tremble in his arms. His tongue slides in, parting my lips, and I taste his hunger. He needs me just as much as I need him, and I nibble and suck his tongue, conveying my love. I would rather drag Victor upstairs to my room and bury myself in him, asking him to love me in every possible way, but an unwanted thought from some forgotten corner of my brain surfaces in my mind. Victor should be well-rested and fed before his fight, and sex is probably the last thing he needs right now. I break the kiss, and a deep noise resembling a growl exhales with his next breath. I let out a heavy sigh.
“I missed you too. And the hat is needed so that we can get to the restaurant without being swarmed.”
As soon as we step outside, we’re engulfed by loud music, bright lights, and the aroma of delicious food. Life’s buzzing even more now than when we first checked in to the hotel.
Victor’s body is stiff next to mine. I don’t ask him about his day. I know he’ll talk about it if he wants to. I don’t want to stress him out even more before the fight.
