“If it was that simple, son.”
“You know what else I don’t understand? Angelo is Juniper’s real dad, right?”
“Yeah,” Big Frank confirmed with a frown on his face.
“So, the nigga paid off Clive’s debt?”
“He did.”
“So, why you act like Clive paid it off, and why that nigga ain’t said shit?”
“He has a family and a wife of his own; he can't let his affairs bleed into his real family. ”
I don’t know if it was what Big Frank said or how he said it, but it was like a switch went off in my head. I knew Big Frank, the nigga had been raising me my entire life. The only thing he would lie to protect was our family. If he thought he was at risk of losing everything he’d built, the nigga would move funny. The only reason I could see my mama leaving Big Frank was if he’d had an outside child.
“You got another seed out there.” I was asking but making a statement at the same time.
Silence filled the room as Big Frank stared off into space. Regret filled his face as he took deep heavy breaths. “It’s notalways about the mistakes you make. The company you keep can be just as fucked up. Back in the day, Clive was that nigga. He wasn’t the washed up ass nigga he is now. Clive, his sister, Deeann, Angel, Angelo, and me ran together. We was some young dumb niggas. Thought we was finna start a street gang, and turned it into an empire. Some goofy shit. Angel and Angelo got into the books… they were never really street niggas. Clive and me, we got our hands dirty.
“Clive and Angelo never got along. They always bumped heads, the shit was annoying. Most of the time, it was Clive trying to antagonize Angelo. Time separated us. When we all reunited, life had changed all of us. Clive allowed the streets to turn him grimey. He was jealous of Angelo because he was living the life he really wanted. Successful with a degree about to open his own private practice. Clive decided if he couldn’t be happy, nobody could. You know the quickest way to bring a nigga down, son?”
“His bitch,” I answered easily. Big Frank always preached about the dangers of loving the wrong bitch. I often wondered how he was with my mom, how antilove he was.
“Exactly, Nancy, Juniper’s mom. She was with Angelo first, engaged actually. Clive saw Nancy’s desire for excitement. Angelo was too focused on getting his business off the ground. Clive stole Nancy from right under his nose, but not right away. She bounced between the two of them for a long time. Until she got pregnant. Clive really thought Juniper was his. When he found out she wasn’t…” Big Frank let out an uneasy chuckle. “That sent the nigga over the edge. He wanted everyone around him to suffer. Deeann and I used to fuck around before I met your mom. She was my first love. Clive knew there were unresolved issues. He set me up. I’m a man, and although I love your mom more than words can say, I fucked up, fell into theirlittle trap. I thought I was smarter than them wearing a condom. Nah, that bitch poked all kinds of holes in the condom.”
“So, let me get this straight. Clive and his sister set you up so she could trap you? She loved you that much?”
“Not love… money. By then, I was that nigga. My money was longer. Your mom had just had Frankee. Life was good for us. I didn’t think nothing of it when Deeanna disappeared. Clive acted like he didn’t know where she went. Whole time, the nigga hidin’ her out. Until she came back with my son, threatening to tell Toi about my son unless I paid her and Clive to keep my secret.”
“Nigga, how you let a bum nigga and his sister run the okie doke on you?” I shook my head at him. The Big Frank I knew would never fall for no shit like that.
“Life happened to me. I wasn’t prepared for tha-”
“I wanna make sure I got this right. Clive and his sister was blackmailing you. You and Angelo some bitch ass niggas hiddin’ y’alls seeds from y’alls wives. You set me and Juni up as some kind of childish ass revenge for Clive and Mixie, that a nigga ain’t give a fuck to have? Y’all too fuckin’ old to be playin’ these bullshit ass games.” I was annoyed sitting here listening to that wack ass story. Them niggas was beefin’ about a bunch of nothing, playing petty games over shit that should have been left in the past. Nothing my dad said was worth the drama. No money or lives were lost, then the shit was for the birds.
“I’m still yo dad. Watch how you talk to me, Faheem.” Big Frank tried to get buck with me.
Waving him off, I had lost hella respect for him. Knowing I had a brother out there didn’t sit right with me. For a nigga that claimed family was so important, but you hiding a kid. Seemed hypocritical to me, and I didn’t fuck with it.“You should have just told mom that shit of-” A thought ran across my mind as shit started adding up. “I saw him. The day after my party, you wasoutside Floppy’s with Clive and a little young nigga. That was ya son?”
“Jaquwell, that’s my boy.”
“You said he was your cousin.” Toi’s eerily calm voice caught both of us off guard. Big Frank jumped from his seat.
“Baby, let me explain.”
“I knew you were lying. I swear I did. He looked so much like Faheem…” My mama had a far off look in her eyes. Biting her lip, she threw her head back laughing hysterically. Forrest was still in her arms, and my little nigga was looking at her like she was crazy. “You brought him around me. All these years, I told myself that you love m-”
“I do love you, Toi, you know that. Don’t do this.” My dad had dropped the cigar and was slowly moving towards my mom. I’m sure he thought he was safe because she was holding Forrest.
Taking a deep breath, she finished speaking. “Because of how you were raised, I empathized with you knowing it was hard for you to show it. I made excuses for all the shit you’ve done. But this… Fuck you, Franklin. I’m done. Deeanna, my best fucking friend. I always wondered why she just stopped talking to me. Or better yet, why she hated you as soon as I started dating you, but now I know. Faheem, I’m going to stay with you and my grandbabies for a while. If that’s okay.” My mom turned towards me. Ion even know why she asked that shit. She was always welcome wherever I laid my head.
“Toi, stop playing with me. You aren’t going anywhere.”
“Listen to me very good, Franklin. I’m not leaving here because I want to. I’m leaving here to keep myself out of prison. If I stay under the same roof as you tonight, I promise you won’t wake up in the morning.”
If there was ever a moment to fear my mama, it was now. The passion in her voice let you know she meant every single word out of her mouth. My dad fucked up, and he deservedto lose my mom, but not his life. Even with my dislike for Big Frank, I didn’t want the nigga to end up dead.
“I’ll let you go for the night, but we aren’t over, Toi. We can fix this.” Big Frank, or should I call him Franklin ‘cause his fucking voice sounded like it was cracking and shit I would say he sounded like a bitch if I didn’t know him any better.
