"I'll be all right," he replied as hope sprang out of him as he stared at her once more. "Ye said me brother wants to take ye to the ceilidh?"
"Well, he wants me to join him in the infirmary," Leah said. "And all things considered, I just might take him up on the offer."
A brilliant idea sparked in Killian's mind. He scowled at Leah as he stepped back from her. "I've got to go."
"Killian? What is goin' on?" Leah's voice trailed behind Killian as he took off down the corridor. His head was a jumbled mess, like a puzzle with scattered pieces. He knew he wanted to protect Leah, and if he could only do that by putting distance between them, then that was what he'd do.
At that moment, he felt a swell of conflicting emotions. Affection, fear, and a desperate need to protect her at all costs mingled and warred within him. But the truth remained. It seemed the more he cared for her, the more perilous it became for them both. He needed to find a way to shield her from the darkness that followed him like death's shroud, even if it meant creating a chasm between them.
I cannae let her get hurt. Nae for anythin' in this world. I just pray that one day ye'll see I did what I thought was the right thin' to do. Maybe one day, she'll forgive me for what I must do for the survival of my clan.
22
"Icannae believe it," Elsie said over her shoulder as Leah trailed behind her, gathering herbs. The morning sun lingered on the horizon, flooding the garden with a new light that made Leah feel anything was possible.
"The ceilidh is tomorrow. Do ye ken that? Tomorrow. I cannae believe he is still goin' on with it when everyone kens ye two are made for each other," Elsie continued ranting. "Here I thought when he requested ye to give the reports to him, I thought to meself, self, that lass will be Lady MacMillan."
"Oh, I daenae think so," Leah said, tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. "While I find the laird amusin', there is nay way I'd ever give him me heart."
"Wise decision. Poor fool wouldnae ken what to do with ye. There are men and then there are men, ye ken what I'm sayin' here? Do ye want someone ye'll be carryin' around in life, or doye want some to walk with ye, and face whatever comes side by side? See, there's a difference."
"Aye," Leah said as her thoughts drifted to Killian. She'd grown fond of him, more than she knew she should have. But now that the moment was on her to announce her engagement, Leah wasn't sure she would be able to go through with it.
"Are ye even listenin' to me?" Elsie asked as she planted her hand on her hip and glared at Leah.
"Nay," she answered in full candor.
"What am I goin' to do with ye? Now listen up, I heard the councilmen will be introducin' their nieces and daughters to Killian to spark his interest. If ye even stand a chance against them, remind Killian why he likes ye above all others."
"That's easier said than done. Have ye seen some of the lasses in the village? They are well-curved and look like they could squeeze out a whole clan," Leah said, a bit flustered by the thought of having to raise so many children. One or two would be ideal, but to have a herd, it made her queasy just thinking about it.
Elsie laughed so hard she lost half the herbs she had collected in her basket. Leah couldn't help but join in as the birds took to the skies to flee from such a clamor.
"Have ye met Stella yet? Poor lass came in just last month with her uncle. Folks say she's so ugly that her uncle is keeping her indoors until he kens Killian is good and drunk before introducin' her."
"That's horrid," Leah said, shocked at the audacity of some people. She shook her head as she snapped a few sprigs of rosemary and put them in her basket.
"Aye, that it is, but what can ye do about it? Nothin' really. If we go to the councilmen's house and ask for her, nay doubt he'll deny she's there. But just ye wait and see how many lasses come crawlin' out of the wood work for this event. Tis goin' to be the biggest thin' to happen all year."
"It cannae be that important," Leah said, trying to play down the significance of the ceilidh. In the back of her mind, she'd always considered the engagement just a playful act, a ruse that harmed no one. But as she listened to Elsie lay down the importance of Killian finding a wife, well, it took all of Leah's strength not to blabber the plan right then and there.
"Tis a very important event," Elsie said. "Our future is restin' on this moment. If Killian chooses the wrong mate, the whole clan could suffer for it.."
"And what sort of lass do ye want to see Killian with?" Leah asked as she moved around Elsie to reach for some of the thyme.
"Ye, of course," Elsie said. "I've been waitin' for the moment when he sees ye for who ye really are instead of the healer. When that day comes, I'd want to be right there as a witness to it."
A smile tugged at the corner of Leah's lips as she wondered how Killian would make the announcement. Would he be hushed about it? Or would it be something so over the top that there would be no doubt in her mind it was to add to their ruse? The thought intrigued her.
"Are ye sure ye want to be makin' that bet? Because I'm tellin' ye right now, there is nothin' goin' on with me and Killian. He barely kens that I exist."
Leah's words stung like thistles in her mouth as her thoughts shifted to Killian. How he had shifted since they had come back from the village. He wasn't as lenient with his time, and any time she did manage to sneak in with him, he'd cut it short. It was almost as if he was deliberately avoiding her. But why, she didn't know. Nor did she know if she wanted the answer. Her heart felt heavy with trouble as she tried to focus on the swaying heather and sparrows.
"Ye ken very well that man has his eye on ye. Ever since ye came to the castle, he's been keen to have ye around," Elsie said as a long cry drifted on the breeze, catching Leah's ear. She turned her head and lifted a hand to shield the blinding light of the morning sun.
Racing from the side door of the castle, Leah spotted a messenger coming for them. She glanced at Elsie, expecting herto have answers as to what was going on. Yet, Elsie looked just as puzzled as Leah.
"That looks like Mason's messenger," Elsie said as the man drew closer. Leah waved to the man who came swiftly to them.
