“You’re scaring me. Is everything okay?” I search her eyes.
“You should probably know–” Declan walks out of the apartment stairs at the same moment. “Oh, good, you’re here too. You’re a part of this, so you should stay,” my mom tells him as he pauses next to us.
He looks rightfully confused because I am too. “What’s going on?” he asks.
“Well, you two, Autumn said some interesting stuff to me and her teacher today.” My eyes go wide, and Declan and Ilook at each other. “She told us that she’s going to have a new daddy.”
“Oh, fuck,” I say out loud.
“Yup. And when I asked her what she meant, she said that ‘Dec was going to be her new daddy because mommies and daddies sleep together and he slept over with you, Penny.’” She looks at me with a quirked brow.
Declan runs a hand through his hair and blows out a breath, and I start pacing. “Shit,” I breathe out. “What the fuck are we going to do? Wetoldher he accidentally fell asleep.”
“Well, she clearly took it as something else.”
My heart is racing because this is bad.
I always told myself that if I were to have a relationship with a man, I would wait at least three to five months before I introduced him to Autumn. That was to make sure I knew it was serious. I don’t want to have a revolving door of random hookups meeting my kid. Even though Declan isn’t just some random person, I didn’t want Autumn to find out because I know how she is. She would see Declan as more than just a friend; she would see him as a father figure.
This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen.
It’s always in the back of my head that Declan doesn’t want kids and that this is just casual between us. The fact that Autumn told him she loved him last night and then this today has me wanting to back out of this whole thing. It will break her heart, and mine, if she falls even more in love with him, knowing that he’s never going to feel the same way about her.
“Can Penny and I talk alone, Briana?” Declan asks, keeping his cool while I start to sweat and freak out.
“Of course. I’ll be inside,” she says as she heads back into the coffee shop.
“I am so fucking sorry,” I mutter. “I’m going to have a conversation with Autumn.”
He nods. “Yeah, okay. But Penny, it’s not–”
“I can’t do this,” I say, waving my hand between him and me. I’m starting to panic. He doesn’t want to be a ‘daddy,’ and the fact that Autumn used that word makes me want to vomit. On top of it all, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. We were supposed to have fun in secret, and now everyone around us knows.
If my mom wasn’t one hundred percent sure before, she is now.
“What do you mean you can’t do this? Our whole friendship, or the benefits?” he asks, narrowing his eyes on me.
I walk up to him so nobody can hear us if they pass by. “Just the benefits part. I’m sorry, Declan.”
His yellow-green eyes bore into mine, and he stares at me with an expression I can’t quite decipher. He can’t be okay with this, with Autumn claiming him as a father. So, I don’t know why he’s hesitating.
It takes him a moment before he says anything, and he nods his head, looking past me as he speaks. “You might be right,” he tells me and runs a hand through his hair. “Maybe we should pause this for a little bit.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Look, I need to go talk to Autumn, but I’ll text you later, okay?”
He gives me a tight-lipped smile and turns to head into the tattoo shop without saying another word.
My stomach turns, but I know this is for the best. I can’t let Autumn get more attached than she already is. Otherwise, she’ll be talking about being a flower girl before next sunrise.
I head back into the coffee shop to break the news to her. “Hey, baby girl. How was your day?” I ask when I get into the office. Her head is down, and she’s singing a tune while drawing.
“Good.”
I sit down next to her and contemplate my next words. “Grandma told me you said some things about me and Declan today.”
She smiles wide. “I told her he’s going to be my daddy because mommies and daddies sleep together.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Baby. I’m so sorry, but Declan isn’t going to be your daddy. He’s just our friend.”
