Before I’ve even put the truck in park, Penny is out the door and running up to the house. She swings the front dooropen with no problem, and I follow her inside once I’ve got the truck turned off.
My heart immediately sinks because I can hear Autumn screaming and crying. I follow the sound, and when I turn into the hallway, Alex and Briana are pacing with pained expressions on their faces.
“Declan?” Alex asks in confusion.
“I brought Penny,” I tell him as I get closer.
Alex’s brows furrow, and Briana looks from the bedroom that Penny just went into to me. It doesn’t escape me that this probably looks like exactly what it looks like. Penny and I both have wet hair and are in sweats. She was supposed to be on a date tonight–one that wasn’t with me–and I can tell the moment Briana figures it out because her expression goes from confused to knowing in a matter of seconds.
I can’t worry about that right now, though, because there are more pressing issues at hand.
“May I?” I ask, nodding to the room.
“It’s not a good idea. It can make it worse if you try to wake her,” Alex explains.
But Briana grabs his forearm and looks at me. “Go ahead.”
I give them a solemn nod and enter the room. The lights are turned off, and Penny is sitting on the floor next to the bed, watching Autumn scream and cry. Tears are running down her cheeks as she watches her daughter.
I know she feels helpless right now. It’s how I used to feel with Kate.
I move further into the room and nudge Penny. “Can I?” I ask. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, but what Penny doesn’t know is that when Kate was just younger than Autumn, she started having night terrors too. Since Kate and I were in a completely different wing of the house than my parents, I was the only one to hear or console her. I used to spend hours researching ways to help.
She shakes her head no and goes to reach for my arm, but my heart can’t handle it anymore and I climb onto Autumn's bed and pick her up, wrapping her in a huge bear hug. I lean against the headboard with her in my arms and do what I did with Kate.
From all the research, I found there wasn’t one specific way to get someone to come out of a night terror. You either let them ride it out until they fall back asleep, or you get them to snap out of it. I didn’t like the thought of either, so I would bear hug Kate and sing.
Autumn is still trying to thrash, but my hold is strong, and I start to rock her as I sing the words to Yellow by Coldplay. Not a minute goes by, and the screams have turned into cries, and then finally, the cries turn into whimpers.
I don’t dare look at Penny because I feel like I’ve overstepped a huge boundary.
Autumn’s body finally relaxes, and I palm the back of her head and rub firm circles on her upper back. I repeat thesong and continue to rock her until I know for sure she’s back to sleep. When I dare to look at Penny, I find her sitting against the wall with her hand over her mouth and wide eyes.
Her gaze captures mine, and we stare at each other. After a few beats, my eyes flick to the doorway, and both Briana and Alex are staring at me, too. Briana has tears rolling down her cheeks, and Alex is leaning against the frame with his arms crossed and a curious expression on his face.
I can’t handle looking at all their faces and decide it’s okay to shift Autumn back onto the bed. I pull the covers over her little body and watch her face. It’s like the night terror never happened. She looks like a peaceful sleeping angel.
I push her hair back and lean into her ear. “Rest deeply, sleep peacefully, dream sweetly,” I repeat the phrase I used to say to Kate when I would tuck her into bed.
Penny stands when I round the bed, and we tiptoe out of the bedroom and into the hallway. No one says anything at first, so I speak up. “I’m sorry if I overstepped. Kate used to have night terrors when she was around three or four,” I tell them.
“I’ve never seen her come out of one that quickly,” Briana says.
“We were told not to touch her because she could hurt herself or someone else,” Alex explains.
“What did you whisper to her?” Penny asks suddenly, staring at me like she doesn’t know me at all.
I swallow and repeat the phrase.
Her red-rimmed eyes search mine, and in the next moment, she wraps her arms around my waist and lays her head on my chest. “Thank you,” she whispers and starts to cry. My arms wrap around her shoulders, and I lean my chin on the top of her head.
I know how emotionally taxing these episodes can be, and I can’t imagine how it feels as a parent to not be able to do something when all you want to do is help. I have to wonder how long Autumn has been having these episodes. The only reason I did what I did was because I knew that Autumn could never hurt me, and I would be able to stop her from hurting herself. I dealt with Kate for years before she finally grew out of the night terrors, and by that point, I was almost as big then as I am now.
I breathe Penny in, and she smells like me. I like it. A lot. I can feel two sets of eyes on us, but I couldn’t care less right now. If Penny needs a hug, she gets a hug.
When she finally pulls away, she wipes the tears from her eyes with her sweater sleeve and says, “I’m probably going to stay here tonight. Why don’t you go home and get some sleep?”
“You should go too, Penny,” Briana suggests. “Autumn will be none the wiser in the morning. Get some sleep in your own bed instead of on the couch.”
