“What?” I splutter loud enough that we’re beginning to draw the attention of those closest to us. “I’m not in love with him anymore.”
While I’d been concentrating on the happy couple, it’s obvious that I’ve become the subject of whispered conjecture. As I glance around the room, clusters of guests shoot speculative glances my way, heads dipping together conspiratorially.
“Oh my God.” I turn my back on the room, facing the buffet table. “Oh my God.”
“Breathe, Molly. Don’t let them see.”
I shake my head. “I’m not even in love with him anymore. I’ve moved on. Why does anyone care?”
Josh coughs. “Are you sure?”
I shoot him a glare. “ I’m pretty sure I know my own feelings.”
“But the way you looked at him?—”
“I didn’t know she was pregnant, okay?”
And damn if that isn’t a knife to my chest.
Josh blinks slowly. “Does that matter to you?”
I make a face. “No. Yes? I don’t know. I’m upset that something I wanted for years is—” The words dry up, turning to ash in my throat.
“Hey.” Josh reaches out, brushing hair away from my face. “Brad’s a fucking idiot.”
I huff out a laugh. “I know. That doesn’t mean I have to stick around and let them hurt me.” I tilt my head toward the stage. “I’m sure the happy couple will understand.”
“You’re letting him win?”
I scowl, barely resisting the urge to stomp my foot like a toddler. “I’m not letting anyone do anything. This isn’t a competition, Josh-u-ahhh.” I draw his name out, channeling my anger at him rather than the douchebag across the room. “I’m not competing against anyone.”
I search my feelings, verifying the validity of my claim. Apart from the almost desperate pain of wanting a baby, I feel nothing.
“Yeah? Then why do you look like they’re about to cry.”
“Can we drop it, please? I don’t think I have the capacity to deal with my emotions tonight.”
Josh falls into a prickly silence as we watch Bess and Pete hug his grandmother.
I sigh.
“I can’t stay mad at you.” I gulp the last of my glass, then hip-check him, crossing my arms as we continue to watch the room. “I’m sorry for being a bitch when all you were doing is trying to help.”
“I’m sorry for not respecting your boundaries. If you still want to leave, I’ll head out with you.”
I shake my head. “No, you’re right. I shouldn’t give him—or the gossips—the satisfaction. This is Bess’s night. She deserves better.”
We’re both quiet for a long moment as we people watch. The glances sent my way slowly ease as the vultures find new prey to pick over.
“Whydidyou ever go out with Brad?” he asks quietly. “He treated you like shit.”
I huff out a laugh, then sober. “He asked me.”
I feel Josh’s gaze on me. “What the hell does that mean?”
I shrug. “It doesn’t matter now. Water under the bridge and all that. Josh,” I place a hand on his arm. “It doesn’tmatter. Anything I once felt for him is gone.” I force an ironic smile. “And yeah, tonight is hard because I’m jealous of the fact they’re going to have a baby.” I force that acknowledgement out with a dry, humorless chuckle. “Which, good luck to them since I couldn’t even trust Brad with a goldfish.”
I nod toward the dance floor. “Now, let’s just drink and be merry for your brother and my best friend, okay?”
