After the dating is done, it’s time for everyone in the room to chat over a drink—and set up your next one-on-one date.
All the details are below. Please ensure you fill out the attached questionnaire before Wednesday.
We look forward to seeing you there!
And remember, love can sometimes happen at first sight.
I look at the now-empty tub of ice cream. “There’s no other option. I’m going to have to kill Bess.”
I raise the bottle of Kahlua to my lips, taking a bracing shot as I open the quiz.
“Oh, fuck.”
It’s one ofthosequizzes. You know, the type they only ask singles. The one where they ask you to describe your perfect date, how you’d raise your theoretical kids, and what you’rereallylooking for in a man—like the answer isn’t “employed, single, and can take out the trash.”
My phone buzzes with another text from Bess.
Bess
Send me your answers. I want to approve them before you submit. God knows you have zero game.
“Well fuck you too.” I down a large gulp of the Kahlua, grimacing at the taste. It does not get better with increased consumption. “Okay, let’s do this.”
Describe your perfect date.
“Not speed dating.” I snigger, lifting the bottle again as an idea takes root. “Well, you asked for this Bessie-girl.” I shove the bottle to one side, typing quickly. “A date that ends in mutual orgasms. Preferably multiples.” I giggle.
Describe the attributes you find most attractive in a partner.
“Big dick, tongue that he knows what to do with, thick fingers, big hands. Great laugh.”
If you were stuck on a desert island what three items would you take?
“A private plane, pilot, and enough fuel to escape—duh.”
Describe yourself in three words
“Brilliant, hilarious, horny.” I chuckle at my own brilliance, drinking again.
The answers get more outrageous as the questions progress.
How would you describe your sex life?
“Dinosaur erotica.”
What do you prefer—dogs or cats?
“Llamas.”
I hit save at the end of the sheet, uncontrollable belly laughs sending tears streaming down my face.
“Enjoy, Bessie!” I giggle, wiping at the tears on my cheeks.
An email notification pops up in the corner of my screen.
I click, lifting the bottle to my mouth.
Thanks for submitting your questionnaire! Our team at Speedy Singles™ will review your answers and be in contact with you shortly if they have any questions.
