The way she dragged us to the bridal party room and straight to the tray of cocktails made me believe her.She handed me something pink and held hers up.“Cheers,” she declared, clinked her glass with mine, and downed it in one gulp.
I stared at her, mouth agape.“Wow,” I said.“You have left me with not a single doubt, and I would be a fool to try to outdrink you.”
“You’re already throwing in the towel?”
I held my hands up, the pink drink firmly in my right hand.“I know a losing bet when I see one.”I brought the drink to my mouth and took a sip.My lip recoiled, and my tongue darted out at not only the tartness of whatever the hell I just put in my mouth, but the sheer sucker punch of vodka.“Jesus, this is stronger than it looks.You didn’t even flinch.”
“I pushed three kids out of me.Not much rattles me anymore.And since I have a babysitter tonight, I’m having some fun.”She patted my chest before grabbing another deadly pink concoction.“You’ll understand one day.”
A laugh flew out of me with the speed of a missile.“Kids?Me?Not in a million years.”
“No?Here I pictured you coaching Little League, embarrassing your kid in the school pickup line, and being the PTA moms’ worst nightmare.”
I snorted and shook my head.“Hard pass.”
Lori laughed before taking a smaller sip of the drink.“Everyone says that.”
“No, I mean it.”I followed Lori’s lead and took a cautious sip of the drink.Still terrible.“I like my life quiet and free of responsibility.”
Her green eyes studied me.“At least you know what you like.”
“I do even if society thinks we all should be sporting dad jeans and New Balances by the time we’re thirty.”
“Hey, my husband looks amazing in his dad jeans.And New Balances have nice arch support.”
“Really?Maybe I should look into a pair then.My right foot cramps.”I stopped myself.“Did I just turn old?”
“You’re as old as you feel.”Lori downed the rest of her drink.“And I’m feeling twenty-two!”
“Did you just quote Taylor Swift?”
“Hell yeah, I did.”
A smile tugged at my lips, and my chest tightened when my eyes caught on Rose just outside the bridal suite.She spoke to Cynthia, her hand resting absently on her stomach as she laughed at something Cynthia said.It was nothing.Just a gesture.But the sight lodged somewhere deep and uncomfortable.
Kids weren’t part of my future.
They had never been.
Rose didn’t want them either, but she also hadn’t wanted marriage.
Until she had.
I wanted Rose.God, I wanted her more than anything.But that didn’t mean I was willing to rewrite myself.Rewire my entire belief system.She knew exactly who I was.I had never lied to her about it.
My dad walked out on me.He proved he couldn’t handle the pressure of being a husband and a father.I had his DNA; who was to say I wouldn’t fall into the same pattern?
Lori followed my line of sight.“Rose is a sweetheart,” she said.“At the bridal party, she colored with my daughter, and they bonded over the color purple.”
“It’s Rose’s favorite.”
“My daughter’s, too.”
“She’s always been good with kids.Her nephew adores her.”
“Some people just have that energy.”
“Doesn’t mean it’s what they want.”
