In a few minutes, I was about to see our baby for the first time.
And he wasn’t here.
***
An hour later, I was back in my car with a prescription for anti-nausea meds, heading home.Everything was fine.I was about six and a half weeks along.I didn’t get to hear the baby’s heartbeat, but Doctor Cameron assured me it wasn’t because there was something wrong with the baby.It was just too early for the Doppler.But she let me watch the flicker on the screen, that tiny rhythmic thump of life.My baby’s heartbeat.
Despite everything—the fear, the guilt, the loneliness—something inside me shifted.
A slight shimmer of hope sparked.
My phone rang, and I answered it.“We’re viral!”Wyatt’s voice boomed through the phone, pure excitement exploding from his tone.
His voice sent a painful jolt straight through my chest, and I tightened my hold on the steering wheel.
“I saw,” I said, forcing lightness into my tone.
“You should see the comments.People are obsessed.The whole rustic romance vibe is a hit.You’re trending now.You’re officially an influencer!”
A laugh slipped out, and the pain eased, as did my grip.The tension in my shoulders relaxed.“Please don’t call me that.”
“You’re right.You’re so much more than that.A professional.A skilled photographer.A woman of the people.”
“You flatter me.”
“I speak the truth.”
My throat tightened, and silence spread across the line.
“Is it okay that I called?”he asked, the excitement fading and awkwardness settling in.
Tears pricked my eyes.I hated this.“It’s okay,” I managed.“I saw earlier and wanted to text you.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I didn’t think… I didn’t know…”
“I get it.”
“I’m happy you called.”He was the one person who knew how much I loved my job, how much time and energy I put into making the socials a success.
“Let me take you out for a drink to celebrate.”
“Uh…” God, I wanted to, but I couldn’t drink, and I couldn’t very well go out for celebratory drinks.He would know something was up.I just had another week before I told him.I just wanted to get through this wedding, let the day be focused on our friends' big day and then tell him everything.No more hiding.No more secrets.
“I can’t.”My voice was barely a whisper.
“Oh.”The disappointment might as well have reached through the phone and sucker-punched me.
“I mean, not tonight.I have to monitor the comments, plan my next post, look at the stats.But maybe coffee?”
He paused, and I braced for rejection.“Coffee sounds great.”
My breath rushed out in relief.“How’s tomorrow before work?”
“Espresso Yourself?”
I blinked rapidly and drew in a steadying breath.“Our usual seats.”
