Mom reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “We love you. We want nothing more than to be part of your life. I’m sorry you felt that way.”
“We both are sorry, son,” Dad says. “You’re welcome here whenever you want and if you want us to come see you in the city…well, damn, just tell us that.”
He has a point. I’ve never once asked them to come into the city.
“You’d do that for me?” I ask.
Dad chuckles and wipes his eyes. “Hell yeah, kid. Your poor mom here could use a city day once in a while.”
Mom giggles, and it warms my heart. “I could. We’d love to come see you and visit Al.”
The only time they’ve come into the city was for Edith’s funeral a few years ago.
Dad stands and walks around to me. I stand too, and he pulls me into an embrace.
“We both love you, kid. All four of us do. You’re my son and I want you to be happy,” he says. Then he pulls back and looks at me. “Didn’t you mention you were dating someone a while back? Where is she?”
I grimace. “She’s away right now. But I’m going to work on that,” I say as I hug Mom.
“Hutchinson, do you need a talk about how to treat girls, again?” Mom asks.
I laugh. “No, Mom. I just need to show her that we should be together now, that right now is the perfect time for us,” I explain cryptically.
Mom pulls back and raises an eyebrow.
I grin down at her. “Don’t worry, I got this.” And for the first time in a long time, I feel ready to do battle. I’m going to get Jocelyn back in my life now, and then I can finally start living instead of just existing.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Jocelyn
I watch my dad laugh with his sister. We’re at the beach for the day. My grandmother is sitting in a beach chair talking to Val. And my cousins are snorkeling. I'm sitting here under an umbrella, furiously rewriting my paper for the fifth time. I’m nearly done. Every twist and turn over the past two months has led me to this final draft.
Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be vacationing with my father. Mom has even spoken to him a few times. It’s cordial, at least, which is nice. I think they are both in such different places now, their past seems like a hundred years ago.
I can’t say it’s all water under the bridge. At Roxy’s insistence, I did talk to a therapist this week. It was better than I thought it would be.
One thing that’s been truly shocking is how fast my grandmother and aunt accepted Dad back into their lives. One video chat and we were booking flights here for the week. All of these trips make me thankful that I only have class three days a week.
I have already finished a short story final project for another class, and my third class has an essay test I’ll take in a few more weeks. It’s this final memoir that’s been my albatross all semester. But it seems easy now. The words are flowing in ways they never have before.
“You almost done over there?” Val asks.
“Yep. Just wrapping this chapter up,” I state as I stay focused on my screen.
This chapter has been hard to write. It touches on my love life, on Hutchinson Cromwell. It’s difficult because I don’t know how it ends. Will we ever be in a place where we can be healing from our pasts while moving forward together? I don’t know. I want us to be there.
My grandmother gets up and comes to sit in the chair next to me beneath the umbrella.
“What is troubling you?” she asks, her voice hoarse with age. Being here has been a reminder of how much I’ve missed out on my family in my life.
I shut the lid of my laptop, sliding it into my bag, wanting to be present with her. “I’m trying to finish my memoir, but I’m stuck.”
“What part of your life is so hard to write? Is it us?” she asks, motioning around us as if she just read my mind.
“Yes, but no. This is hard still,” I say as I motion around us. “But I think we’re all getting there.” I pause.
“I…it’s about Hutch.” I stumble over my words, feeling a little silly that I’m stuck on my words because of a man and not my family.
