We sit in near silence for half an hour, aside from occasional laughter when Cliff does something funny or cute or one of us telling Cliff she’s cute. I swear that trash panda is a diva because she practically smiles every time we say she’s cute.
Eventually, I grab her hand, and we head back up to my apartment. I undress her slowly this time, cherishing every inch of her skin as I unwrap it like a gift. Then, I pull her down on my bed with me and wrap my arms tightly around her. She falls asleep after a while, and when her breathing slows, my mind begins to wander.
We are both dealing with some serious shit. I’ve masked mine in my quest to find the person who leaves flowers on the park bench each morning, but I’d be lying if I said that passion was anything more than an escape from my reality.
I want to say that we can help each other, but I also wonder if we’re making it harder for the other to recover and to deal with their own traumas. Do two wrongs make a right? Shit, I don’t know. Eventually, as my eyelids grow heavy, I decide to call Kasen and ask him who he’s seeing as a therapist. Maybe it’s time I go back to one. Just for a while, just until I can sort myself out. As for Jocelyn, I don’t want to stop what we have going, but I also don’t know if I can be enough for her right now. She deserves the universe. I just don’t know if I can give it to her, and that kills me. Am I enough?
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Jocelyn
It’s happy hour. I’m sitting on Hutch’s lap at the bar while Al makes us drinks. “You kids look good together,” he says with a warm smile as he sets a beer down for Hutch and a mojito for me.
“Thanks, Al,” I say, returning his smile. Everyone is here. It’s an unusually warm late winter evening.
“I’m pretty sure that groundhog was wrong. It already feels like spring,” Bray says as he plays tic-tac-toe with Ava.
“What groundhog?” Ava asks, not looking up from where she’s making an “x.”
“There’s a groundhog in Pennsylvania that every February second predicts whether we get six more weeks of winter or not,” Carly explains.
Ava frowns. “But…why?”
“No idea,” Carly answers.
“That’s weird,” Ava says.
“Well, that’s the answer,” Carly says.
“I, for one, am happy that it’s warm,” I state. “I hate the winter. I want it to be hot and steamy.”
“Hot and steamy, huh?” Hutch whispers in my ear as his giant hand sprawls across my thigh.
I blush. “Yep,” I manage before taking a sip of my mojito. This man can turn me on just by a single touch.
“Are you going to marry Mr. Hutch?” Ava asks as she looks over at us.
I spit my drink out and start coughing as Hutch laughs, a big belly laugh. “Not right at this moment,” he manages as he pats my back.
Everyone is laughing along with Hutch, and Ava just grins at us as if she knows something we don’t. All of a sudden, I feel overwhelmed. Am I ready to marry Hutch? I don’t know. I still have to finish my last six weeks of classes and my paper. Plus, I have to figure out what the hell I’m doing with my father. I’m a mess.
And then there’s Hutch. He clearly has to sort out things with his family.
Is now even the right time for us to start a relationship?
“What’s wrong, princessa?” Hutch whispers in my ear as everyone else goes back to their conversations.
“Nothing,” I mutter. “Just tired.”
He rubs my shoulders. “We can go if you’re tired,” Hutch says quietly in my ear.
I shake my head.
“Who wants s’mores?” Cam asks.
About half the group raises their hands.
“I need to head to bed. I’m going to go bird-watching with a friend early tomorrow,” Troy says with a yawn.
