I choke on the wine I just sipped. I hit my chest a few times, and once I stop coughing, I look back at Cam. “Are you serious?” I ask with a laugh.
Margie leans forward. “I mean, my dear, that man is the size of a small truck. We’re all worried for your lady parts.”
I think about how much time Hutch spends “getting me ready” every time we do have sex. And even then, it still burns a bit at first.
“I mean, yeah, he’s uh, really large…everywhere. But he’s a very considerate lover,” I say, fumbling for the right words to explain it.
“So is Kasen,” Piper says and then looks anywhere but at all of us.
Cam smirks and leans back. “Piper, tell us more about this.”
Piper giggles. “You know…he…you know,” she stumbles over her words.
“He fucks you with his tongue for an hour and then his fingers for another hour, and when you can’t possibly take it anymore, he finally eases in?” Cornelia asks.
Piper’s mouth falls open. “Aunt Cornelia!” she scolds.
Cornelia cackles, and then Margie starts laughing, and pretty soon, we are all in hysterics.
“To the men of one-eleven Hearts Lane,” Carly says, raising a glass.
We cheers, and Cam looks over at her. “We need to get you a man.”
Carly waves her off and sips her wine. “I don’t have time for that. Been there, done it, not interested.”
Roxy raises one eyebrow. “Not even in sexy doctors?”
Carly rolls her eyes. “We are just friends. Always have been, always will be.”
“I was just friends with Hutch,” I point out.
She shakes her head. “That’s different. You all just met a few months ago and have had massive crushes on each other the entire time. Bray and I were friends from day one. He was even dating someone when I first moved in, and I wanted nothing to do with men. He’s my best friend and the greatest uncle ever to Ava.”
I glance at Roxy, Cam, and Piper, and I know we are all thinking the same thing. Deep down, Carly absolutely has the hots for Bray. She’s just too scared to open her heart again.
“Well, if you ever change your mind. You’re welcome to our toy bin,” Margie says.
Jessa stares at her. “Toy bin?”
“Please tell me that you don’t have a bin of toys, like adult toys,” Piper whispers, her eyes widening as she speaks.
“Oh, honey, of course we do. It’s in the hall closet,” Margie says as she gets up, and in unison, everyone but Cornelia screams, “No!”
She stops and turns to us. “What? You know, for a bunch of young women, you are certainly prudish,” she says as she sits back down.
Cam looks around. “OK, fine, but I swear to God, if you pull out used butt plugs, we are leaving.”
Piper’s face morphs into a look of horror. “I think I draw the line at seeing my aunt’s sex toys. I’m off to bed. Goodnight, ladies,” she says as she hurries from the apartment.
“I’m with Piper. And honestly, I’m too old for that shit,” Jessa says.
“Pish posh, you’re never too old, look at us,” Cornelia retorts.
“You know what, let’s just skip this altogether, and we will just imagine what’s in there. Also, it is getting late,” Cam revises her idea, and I think it was the butt plug thing that pushed her in that direction.
“Yeah, I need to write a chapter in my paper. Goodnight,” I say as I stand.
“Use lube! Lots of lube,” Margie calls out as I leave.
