“It’s OK. You were excited,” I say, not wanting her to feel embarrassed and also afraid to let my feelings be exposed. It’s better this way. It’s better to bury whatever that was and move on. After all, if I acted on those feelings, I could lose a good friend. I need her in my life. If I’ve learned anything, it’s the ones you depend on most can desert you when you need them the most.
“Oh…right…yeah, I was,” she says slowly as if trying to comprehend my words. “Anyhow, I…sorry about that,” she adds quickly and then gets out of the car.
Fuck. I hope we can put this behind us.
“Hey, how’d it go?” Roxy says as she gets up out of a lounge chair and walks over to us.
Jocelyn’s smile makes it all worth it; every awkward second of that conversation evaporates as her lips turn up and she laughs. “So good. Like, a million times better than I could have imagined.”
Everyone circles around her, and she tells them about our day as Kasen and Piper walk up from the beach to join us. We listen intently as Jocelyn waves her hands in the air with animation as she speaks about her grandmother and the rest of her family.
When she finishes, Roxy gives her a big hug. “I’m so happy for you,” she says.
“Oh geez. I need to call Mom and Val,” Jocelyn says and then frowns. “Or, should I wait?”
“I think you should call them,” I urge. “They should know.”
Everyone nods in agreement. I motion for her to use the guesthouse.
“OK, here goes nothing,” she says.
“We can all go down to the beach bar for dinner tonight,” I suggest as she gets up out of a chair.
“That sounds great,” she says, walking toward the guesthouse.
Everyone talks excitedly about Jocelyn’s newfound family. I just hope this doesn’t change things with the rest of us. I also hope that kiss doesn’t mess things up between us.
Somehow, the guys ended up staying at the beach bar after dinner. Bray offered to take Ava home and tuck her in, but Carly insisted he stay and enjoy himself. So, the ladies went back to make ice cream sundaes, leaving all of us here to nurse our beers.
“That’s pretty awesome about Jocelyn’s family,” Kasen states as he peels the label off his beer bottle.
“Uh-huh,” I say as I take a large sip of beer.
Kasen leans in and looks at my face. “You kissed her, didn’t you?”
I freeze like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Only my cookie jar is Jocelyn and her fucking, kissable lips.
“Yeah, he did,” Bray says with a laugh.
“Do tell, Romeo,” Gray adds.
“Yeah, let’s hear it,” Fletcher insists.
Al just leans back and watches the banter while eyeing me up like some assessing professor. Do I tell them? Fuck it, if I can’t talk with friends about it, then who can I talk to about it?
“I’d just pulled up to her grandmother’s house. And she was sort of excited, and before I knew it, she leaned over and kissed me. I think she meant to make it a quick kiss. You know, like a thank-you kiss or something. But then, shit, I don’t know. We just started really going at it. Then she pulled back and apologized, and before I could say anything, her grandmother was tapping on our window. Then when we got back, she started talking about it again, but I sort of just said no big deal, and then she was like, OK and got out of the car,” I explain.
Gray slaps his forehead. “Hutch, she was trying to have a heart-to-heart, and you basically shot her down.”
“Yeah, classic fail, mate,” Kasen says.
The others nod. Am I an idiot? What did I miss? I was doing the right thing. I’m not good boyfriend material. I have too much baggage.
“What’s that look for?” Kasen asks. Fuck. That man doesn’t miss anything.
I run a hand through my hair and re-tie it into a ponytail. “Listen, I’m a mess. We all know that. Jocelyn deserves the best. And, maybe that’s not me.”
“If it’s not you, then who?” Al interjects, and a silence falls across the table as if Buddha himself has spoken.
