Twisting toward him, she said, “I’ve really missed you.”
Darren blinked at her, his lips parting into a soft smile that faded quickly. “Farrah, I—well, we have a lot to talk about.”
“Doesn’t have to be today,” she said. “Maybe we can just spend some time together.”
“I don’t love you,” he said, his words rushed and harsh when they landed in her ears.
Her insides iced. “Oh.” Of course he didn’t. And how naïve and foolish had she been to believe he still did, after all this time? After months of silence? After she’d told him itwasn’t his turn?
Those words still haunted her in her lowest moments, and she worked not to sink into that darkness now.
“I will again,” he said. “I know that. But it won’t be the same.”
She wasn’t sure what he was saying. By the squint of his eyes and the line between his eyebrows, he looked like maybe he wasn’t sure what he was saying either.
Farrah turned away, something stinging in her chest she couldn’t get to stop.
“It will be better,” he said, tugging her back around. He gazed at her with all the love and adoration she’d dreamt about. “Can I kiss you now, Farrah?” He lifted one hand and trailed his fingers down the side of her face, along her neck above the collar of her coat.
She shook her head. “I’m—I didn’t come here to kiss you.”
“You don’t want to?”
Oh, she did. Badly. She licked her lips and swallowed. Her mouth felt cold from the Vermont winter air, and she couldn’t stop herself from nodding. “I want to.” Her words whisped into the air and hung there, the same way the white clouds of her breath did. “I just need—I want—I think we should talk first.”
“All right.” He waited for her to climb into the truck. She had to push several boxes, packages, and bags to the side to make room. Then he handed her the plates of cookies and got in beside her.
He said nothing on the drive to town, and the silence between them was so comfortable that Farrah didn’t want to break it.
Darren did with, “I’m going to California tomorrow for Christmas. I’ll be gone all week.”
“Sounds fun,” Farrah said, though going to California was on her list of things never to do again. “I’m staying with my parents tonight, and I’ll be back in the afternoon to check on the boutique.”
He turned down Rooster Avenue and pulled into a driveway that ended at a red brick house. “Did you want to come?”
She shook her head. “You go on.”
“This is Sherwin.” He glanced across her lap. “There should be a blue envelope….”
Farrah plucked it from under a red-wrapped box and handed it to Darren. “When you get back, I want to talk to you about my schedule at the farm.”
Surprise passed through his expression. “Of course. We can work out whatever you need.”
Gratitude filled her, and she watched him walk through the winter weather to Sherwin’s front door. He turned back a moment later and jogged back to the passenger side of the truck. “Audra’s here, so I need her gift too.” He dug through the pile on the seat and selected a bag covered in blue snowmen. “Be right back.”
He’d never answered her about helping with the move or lending her his truck.Thank you for the courage to talk to Darren, she thought.
When he returned, she told him about her morning classes, and how she’d like to come to the farm at eleven, and stay until seven. “I’ll work through lunch,” she said. “I promise I won’t fall behind.”
“Whatever you need, Farrah,” he said, setting the truck toward the south edge of town now. “I know you’ll get the job done.” He pulled into another driveway and put the truck in park. “I’m not worried about it.”
“Thanks.” She wanted to lean into his shoulder, twine her fingers with his. Instead, she handed him the package he requested and maintained her position in the truck while he went up to Carlson’s door.
After he delivered Cassie’s gift, he said, “Well, that one’s for you.” He nodded toward the box wrapped in red and whitestriped paper. It was about the size of a shoebox, and when she picked it up, the contents slid from one end to the other.
“It’s pretty lame,” he said, his voice gruff. “You can open it later.”
“Whatever. I don’t want to open it later.” She pulled off the end of the paper and saw a shoebox inside. Upon opening that, she found a clear plastic box of purple dice. A squeal sounded from her throat.
