“It’s the truth.”
He pulled his hand away, sat back down heavily on the edge of the bed. “I should go. Early flight tomorrow, debrief with the team.”
“You could stay,” I offered. “We haven’t had a full night together since Hungary.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. It’s just…” He gestured vaguely. “My head’s not right for this. For us. All I can think about is what we’re missing on the car, what needs to be fixed, whether it even can be fixed.”
I nodded, understanding even as it stung. “The summer break starts now, right? Four weeks?”
“Four weeks to reset. Train. Try to remember why I love this sport instead of being terrified of it.” He stood, kissed me briefly. “I’ll text you. We’ll figure out how to see each other.”
“Every text documented and forwarded to Thea.”
His smile was wan. “Romance in the modern age.”
After he left, I sat on the edge of the bed and opened my laptop.
SUBJECT:Spa - Sunday final disclosure
TO:Thea Blackwood
Personal contact with J. Hirsch, August 25:
Driver room visit Thursday 6:47-7:32 PM (discussed car performance, personal matters)
Dinner Saturday 8:00-9:15 PM (public restaurant, interrupted by team calls)
Hotel room visit Sunday 10:04-10:41 PM (post-race debrief, personal)
Nature of weekend: Professional strain visible. Car performance issues affecting driver morale and personal relationship dynamics. No inappropriate professional crossover. All coverage submitted through desk review process per guardrails.
Additional note: Driver expressing significant doubt about championship viability and career trajectory. Relevant for context of future coverage. -WP
I hit send and closed the laptop.
Thea’s response came quickly:Four-week break. Use it. Both of you need the distance from the circus. Good work this weekend.
I looked at my phone. No new messages from Jonathan.
The summer break stretched ahead, four weeks of separation while he trained and I decided whether to fully commit to this world. Four weeks to figure out if what we had could survive the constant pressure of his doubts and my obligations.
I turned off the light and tried to sleep, but all I could see was Jonathan’s face when he’d asked if I thought he was championship material.
And the answer I’d been too careful to give.
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