I assure you, I am not shedding any tears. It’s the best news I have heard in weeks. Pick three from your list and send them along with sparklers.
I think what was even more amusing than this news was witnessing the disappointment on Tore’s face during his visit when he realized I already knew. He now thinks there is a rat in our ranks, despite the fact that they would be spying for their don. Be careful,piccola, or he will sniff you out.
Sincerely,
Renzo Iannelli
Dear Diary,
Pfft, don’t worry about it. Tore loves me like a sister. He’d never suspect me in a million years, especially because, up until recently, I’ve still been doling out a few criticisms about you and rolling my eyes whenever your name comes up at the dinner table. He’s got no idea. And even if he did, eh, whatever.
And now, you’re thinking, “What if I told him” to mess with me. Try it, I dare you. But you know what, I don’t think you will. I think you’ve gotten used to getting news through me. I think you like having someone who talks to you without any formality and doesn’t take your shit. But it’s up to you. It’s not like I can’t find other friends out in the big open world. Your call, big shot.
Also, done. Delivered. Here are some photos. I like the second one best. The annoyance on her face is so clear and vivid, better than the boredom it looks like she was feeling duringthe ceremony. She’s really pretty too. I’m surprised you were so against marrying her. You two could have made pretty babies.
You might’ve even been a better match for her. I don’t think she’s a big fan of her husband. The photographer I paid for these actually said the newlyweds barely looked at each other all night, and get this…the groom snuck off with a server halfway through the reception. Don’t miss the photo with the lipstick on his neck when they’re toasting with the cake. I almost feel bad for her, but then again, I’d never marry a guy I didn’t love.
That gets me thinking…When do boys grow up into men? Right now, the older they get, the stupider they behave. I had someone ask me out. When I refused, he pushed. When I refused again, I got insulted. And then the idiot had the nerve to try his luck a third time.
Seriously? Did he really expect that to work? He’d been cute before that. Sadly, he’s just another aggressive bore, too hyped up on testosterone to think straight. I think I’ll date older men from here on out. Maybe they’ll at least have a brain worth something, you know?
I want what my parents had. That grand love that transcends time and space. I want to be with someone who understands me. Who cherishes me, cares for me, but doesn’t suffocate me. I want someone to trust wholeheartedly and who returns the favor. I want a marriage that lasts until death do us part. Just one. I’ll get it right the first time or not at all. With the guys my age, it’s looking closer to not at all.
Piccola Peste,
I don’t think I’m the right person for you to discuss your romantic aspirations with. Talk to Isa. Talk to Tore if anything.Certainly not me. Don’t you have friends at school to discuss this with?
The only thing I will say is that you’re still too young to worry about all this. Focus on your studies. Boys can always come later. They should. Boys your age aren’t thinking of love, marriage, or family, and neither should you.
Now, please. Be my guest. Inform Tore about our correspondences. It might rid me of you once and for all. I suspect you talk a good game, but you won’t put your money where your mouth is.
As for Michaela, I doubt she had much choice in the matter. You shouldn’t judge what you don’t understand.
Take care,
Renzo Iannelli
VISITOR
Hey, we’re making progress. I used to be lucky to get more than two sentences out of you, then the odd paragraph. Now look at that. I’m getting a regular whole two to three paragraphs. Only took two and a half years, but just you watch, I’ll make a regular conversationalist out of you in no time.
I do have something interesting to share with you though. Your sister called. She’s going to be visiting later this month before heading out to Boston. Something to do with her sister-in-law. Said sister-in-law, an Alizé De Villier, wants to meet with you. Persetta wouldn’t give me any details, but apparently, it concerns their trip to Boston.
You’re going to call me nosy—so sue me, I’m a curious person—but I got Ricco talking, who heard it from Isa, who overheard it from one of you three amigos that Alizé has a husband she’s never really met back up in Boston. Michaela’s arrangedmarriage is one thing, but can you imagine being married to someone for almost seven years, having barely ever seen them? Like, holy shit. Messed up doesn’t even begin to cover it. And I thought guys in my class were bad. Do you think that’s why they’re headed that way? Do you think it’s to meet him? Or maybe sign divorce papers? I’m going with divorce papers. I mean, come on, if the guy wants nothing to do with you after seven years, there’s definitely nothing to build on in the relationship. Do you have connections in Boston that she wants to use?
Piccola Peste,
Nosy is an apt description. Feel free to make assumptions. Knowing you, you’ve probably already created an entire sequence of events in your head. I couldn’t care either way, unless it’s profitable and worth my while.
Please inform Persetta that I’ll meet with the De Villier woman, but whatever she’s offering better be worth it. I’m not offering the De Villiers any free passes, in-laws or not.
As for my conversation skills, I believe this sentence will round up this letter with your desired three paragraphs. Imagine me applauding your conversational coaching skills.
Sincerely,
Renzo Iannelli
HILARIOUS
