“Good to know.”
Noah offered a weak smile before averting his eyes. Another brief silence stretched between them. Oddly enough, it was comfortable, soothing even.
“You came back for Trine, I’m guessing?”
“Yeah.”
“That sucks. All of it. That she’s sick, that you had to drop a job you loved…”
“Life’s a bitch,” Noah said with a shrug before standing and outstretching his hand. “Come on. You need to get some rest or the concert tomorrow will be shit.”
“You gonna cuddle me to sleep?” Kaj snorted, letting Noah pull him to his feet before following him to the front lounge.
“That seemed to work the last time.”
“Are you serious right now?” Kaj asked as Noah unfolded the sofa into a bed, the metal frame creaking softly as it extended.
The vocalist glanced over his shoulder as he retrieved extra pillows and a thick fleece blanket from a storage compartment. “Would you prefer to squeeze in a bunk together?”
“Yeah, no.”
“There,” Noah said, gesturing to the mattress. “Make yourself comfortable.”
Kaj hesitated for a moment before climbing onto the bed. It dipped a little when Noah joined him, leaving a respectful distance between their bodies as he lay on his side.
The low hum of the bus engine and the occasional rustle as one of them shifted position were the only sounds filling the space. Moonlight filtered through tinted windows, drawing ghostly shapes over the curve of Noah’s shoulders and back. The proximity and privacy of this room while everyone else was outside stirred something in Kaj that he wasn’t ready to examine yet.
He stared up at the ceiling, clenching and unclenching his fists under the blanket to release some tension. “This is weird.”
“What? Two grown men having a sleepover?”
“Yes, but also you being so nice.”
“You’re the only asshole on the bus.”
Kaj chuckled. “Right.”
Hearing Noah move beside him, Kaj looked in his direction, their eyes locking as he faced him.
“I’m not going to say you’re my favorite person when you’ve been a pain in my ass since I joined Artificial Suicide,” Noah said. “But right now, you need someone, and I’m here. Simple as that.”
“Okay…” Kaj pulled the blanket higher as warmth bloomed in his chest.
Another beat of silence fell between them, but it felt less awkward than before. In this moment, away from the chaos of the world outside and the demons that usually plagued his dreams, Kaj felt a rare sense of clarity.
“So…” He cleared his throat. “Yesterday I didn’t let you, but maybe we should talk about this thing between us.”
“Agreed,” Noah tipped his chin slightly, motioning Kaj to start.
“I don’t think I need to explain to you how much of a mess I am, you’ve seen it for yourself,” Kaj said. “I can’t promise you anything serious, long-term, or deep. I’m working through a lot of shit at the moment, so my focus is on myself.”
“Okay,” Noah replied. “But Kaj?”
“Hm?”
“I’m not looking for promises of eternal love, if that’s what you think. I’m demisexual, not a hopeless romantic. I don’t need to be madly in love with someone to want to get my dick sucked.” A lazy smile tugged the side of Noah’s lips.
Those words rolling from this man’s tongue made Kaj feel like a brainless teenager, but he didn’t let it show.
