Am I trapped in another fucking nightmare?
“Do you always wake up before the alarm goes off?” a rough, groggy voice asked from behind.
Kaj froze. It sounded awfully familiar, but he couldn’t pinpoint who it belonged to, which only made the dreadful sensation clawing at his heart grow.
I didn’t drink or anything last night. Why can’t I fucking remember?
With limbs still refusing to listen to his brain commands, he rummaged through his memory, but nothing came up. It was a white page.
Whoever the fuck was behind him nuzzled his neck, sending chills down his spine. But as their hand moved from his abdomen and brushed over his morning wood, Kaj stood up like he had a spring under his ass.
“Jesus,” Noah protested, pulling the duvet over his shoulders without opening his eyes. “So fucking cold.”
Kaj glared at him for the second it took for everything to fall into place.
The nightmare, right. I asked him to stay.
But also, what the fuck?
“You’re being creepy,” Noah said, half-opening an eye. “Are you gonna stare at me all day or are you gonna do something?”
“What?”
“I don’t know. Go pee, take a shower… jerk me off?” A smirk tugged the corner of Noah’s mouth. That. Sinful. Mouth.
“Yes.” Kaj nodded, pointing to the en-suite, as if trying to get his stupid body to function. “Shower.”
“Pity.” Noah buried himself, the covers reaching above his nose.
Shaking his head, Kaj snapped into himself and strode toward the bathroom.
He wasnota morning person. Some people were fresh as lettuce the moment they pried their eyes open, but not him. Like the caffeine-based lifeform that he was, he needed at least an hour and coffee before he could form cohesive thoughts.
After peeing, Kaj stepped into the shower. The tray was cold under his feet, contrasting with the temperature of the water as he turned on the tap.
Steam soon filled the air, and his mind started to clear. There was a lingering unease from the way he’d woken up. Although his brain wasn’t projecting any particular imagery, it still felt threatened.
Kaj hated the state of constant vigilance he lived in, and how, when he let his guard down for a second, the sensation of being in the wide open and unprotected crept in, leaving him completely defenseless. His survival instinct was trash in those situations.
Kaj took a deep breath and leaned his forehead against the cold tiled wall, grounding himself in the present. He was in his hotel room, safe from the ghosts that lurked in the shadows. There was nothing to fear.Inhale… exhale…
Slowly, he relaxed, and his mind veered toward a very different type of thought—Noah’s arm around him, the warmth his body radiated, the steady rhythm of his breathing...
Kaj’s heart ached for Trine after hearing of her cancer diagnosis last night, and still nothing had disturbed his sleep. It pissed him off to admit it, but he had no doubt Noah was the one to blame for that. It was like, if that man was around, he could let go and actually rest. Like something in Kaj recognized him as a safe place, which was bullshit.
Grabbing the hotel soap, Kaj lathered his body. They had a flight to catch in a few hours, and they still needed to load their gear in the truck that would drive them to the airport, but as his hands glided over his skin, his mind circled back to Noah. In the lulls between their training sessions and concerts, Kaj had been sarcastic and rude toward him. Yet the moment he needed something from him, Noah complied without protest.
He surely wasn’t the innocent guy Kaj used to know. There was a dominant air to him that wasn’t there before. Or maybe there had been, and Kaj hadn’t seen it. But fuck if he didn’t love the idea of bending all that strong-willed power into a mess of tremors and moans.
However, the foundation of who Noah was hadn’t changed at all—honest, caring, protective. It was something Kaj had used to his advantage several times in the past, and honestly, seeing how it helped him keep his shit together last night, he wasn’t planning to stop. He only had to figure out how to get Noah to do what he wanted without getting entangled in emotions he didn’t know how to control, and, most importantly, didn’t want to deal with.
Did that make him an asshole? Probably. Manipulative? Absolutely. Did he care? Nope. He just wanted to keep moving forward and leave the helpless kid he once had been behind.
Kaj’s hands moved lower on his torso, soap sliding down his abs as a clear image of Noah bloomed in his mind. He’d always been impressive, but aging had added a layer of confidence that made him irresistible, and fucking dangerous. From his addictive energy to his annoyingly handsome face to his body, he seemed to have been designed to be admired and ruin people’s lives.
Kaj methodically scrubbed his balls, giving them a gentle squeeze when his semi-hard cock throbbed.
He’d been with countless people in the past, but no one had ever stirred the things Noah did. There was a magnetic pull when he looked at him that Kaj couldn’t ignore, especially when he was practically naked—in his bed.
