Memories of her flooded his mind. Trine had always been more than just Noah’s mom or Kaj’s dad’s best friend—she was a beacon of hope.
Kaj closed his eyes, recalling countless afternoons spent at Noah’s house, Trine’s laughter echoing through the rooms as she teased them. How her and dad’s faces beamed with pride during their first gig at a dingy bar. Their unconditional acceptance when Noah and Kaj gathered the courage to come out to them—though technically, they were caught. Their words that day felt like a balm, helping him navigate the terrifying waters of self-discovery.
Along with Nik, Trine had been Kaj’s biggest cheerleader, always there with advice or a shoulder to cry on when things got tough.
A lump formed in his throat as the incoherent array of images of one of the worst moments in his life faded in the back of his mind. Nik had just passed away, and Kaj was a mess of anger, lashing out at everyone around him.
One night, not long after his father’s funeral, Kaj showed up at the Sørensen’s house, soaked to the bone from the rain. He expected Noah to look out the window and come down to let him in like he always did. Instead, it was Trine who opened the door. She took one look at him and engulfed him in a hug, not caring that he was dripping all over her floor. Closing Noah’s bedroom door to let him sleep through the fever kicking his ass, Trine made Kaj change into his boyfriend’s dry clothes, wrapped him in a blanket, and sat with him on the couch as the storm raged on.
“It’s okay to not be okay.” Her voice was soft but steady. “Grief isn’t a straight line, Kaj. It’s painful and unpredictable, but you’re strong, and we’ll be here every step of the way.”
It was the first time he felt truly safe since he’d lost his dad.
Although it had always felt like a second home, from that day forward, that house became his refuge. The place he ran to when things got too ugly with his stepmom’s drinking. The place where he hid from his demons after Jesper raped him, or when the monster himself came by for a weekend. Kaj found himself on that doorstep time and time again, seeking the warmth Noah and Trine always provided.
Even when Kaj and Noah fell apart, Trine had remained in his life. While he was trying to get a grip of himself and move forward, she was the light guiding him through the tortuous road of an utterly lonely new beginning. He was actually the one who cut her out of his life months after he emancipated. Guilt and shame plunged so deep into his soul, he couldn’t even read the encouraging notes she’d sent along with care packages.
Kaj’s chest tightened.
The woman who had always been invincible in her kindness and strength was now battling cancer.
He wanted to rage against the unfairness of it all. Instead, he found himself praying to a God he didn’t believe in.
As sleep finally claimed him, Kaj’s last thought was of Trine’s laugh—warm, rich, and full of life. It echoed in his mind like a comforting lullaby. His eyes fluttered closed, and he drifted off into a dream where the world made sense, and love didn’t hurt so much.
But happiness never lasted long. Not for him.
“What are you doing here?” Kaj barked when he entered his bedroom and saw Katja sitting at his desk with his laptop open. “You’re spying on me now?”
She got up and smoothed out her orange dress.
That’s strange. She hates that color.
“Since you won’t talk to me and you spend so much time here—”
“And that gives you the right to go through my stuff?”
“No, but I’m glad I did.” She frowned. “I’m worried.”
“You don’t get to act like a caring mother now.” Kaj stepped to the side and dropped his bag on the floor. “You’ve been ignoring me for months.”
“I’m concerned about you, but you won’t let me in. And this—what I read in that anonymous forum… You have a problem.”
Kaj’s blood froze in his veins, but he was an injured, cornered animal right now, so he did the only thing the voice in his head was screaming to do—strike back. “Ihave a problem?” He raised his voice.
“Spreading those kinds of lies to some internet strangers—”
“They’re not fucking lies!”
Kaj had been so disoriented and confused after his stepbrother had raped him, he couldn’t even acknowledge what had happened at first. And when he did, he convinced himself that it wouldn’t impact his life. But it did.
It had been a month, and he still didn’t know what to do with himself. He lived on a seesaw of emotions that made everyday tasks feel monumental, and crying himself to sleep wasn’t enough anymore. He needed an outlet for the pressure in his lungs. And as stupid as it might have seemed, talking to those people who knew nothing about him, but who had experienced the same, helped somehow. But now, that too—his privacy—had been violated.
“You know your precious little son likes guys too, right?” Kaj blurted.
Kaj wanted to say it, tell her what had happened, but the words stuck to his tongue. Cold sweat broke on his skin as his heart pounded violently. A force within pulled him back, then pushed forward.
Everything about this moment felt utterly familiar, as if he’d lived it before.
