As Kaj opened his eyes, he watched Xander beside him, muttering the chords of the first song on the setlist as if he didn’t know them by heart already. Aksel sat cross-legged in a worn armchair, his fingers plucking at imaginary guitar strings. To an outsider, it probably looked like they should have been locked in an asylum, but it was just their usual pre-show ritual. What helped them get tuned to the same frequency.
Then there was Noah.
He was in a corner, separated from the rest, stretching his neck, rolling his shoulders, and twisting his upper body. He’d also been doing vocal warm-ups before.
He seemed to be taking things seriously, Kaj had to give him that, but he still didn’t like how his presence tugged at the subconscious part of his mind, slowly stripping him of his sense of self-preservation and common sense. Like a siren’s song, this man was calling him in the dark, drawing him straight into a shipwreck. And he was tired of fighting it.
So, here he was now, with anger, frustration, and lust waging a war in the nerves that connected his brain with his heart and his dick.
“You’ve got this, man,” Xander said, taking Kaj away from the nonsense in his head as he clapped Noah on the shoulder. “Just pretend it’s one of our practice sessions.”
Noah nodded, nostrils flaring and chest rising as he took a deep breath. “Right, yeah.”
Aksel chimed in, his voice steady and reassuring. “Remember they’re on our side. They’re here to enjoy what we do, not judge us. And if that doesn’t work, imagine everyone naked.” He grinned.
Kaj rolled his eyes as Noah chuckled, seemingly more relaxed. That was what Aksel’s dumbass humor did. Still, his anxiety was as palpable as it was understandable. He was used to getting all kinds of comments and critiques from thousands of people online after posting his videos, but during a live performance you were in front of everyone, vulnerable to your own fears and dependent solely on your skills. For a newbie, that was terrifying.Been there, done that.
“Has that ever really worked?” Noah asked with a tight smile.
The guitarist flashed a cheeky grin. “It does the trick for me and gets me in the mood for later.”
“Of course.” Xander shook his head, amused.
Ben, the monitor engineer, entered the room, interrupting the conversation as he made one last round, checking that their wireless packs and in-ear monitors were working just fine as Val moved around them, camera in hand.
“Ten minutes, guys!” Ivar, the tour manager, called, sending a fresh ripple of tension through the group.
Aksel pulled Noah into a quick side hug, patting his shoulder. “Just focus on us, on the lyrics and what you want to convey. Once we’re out there, everything else will fade away. Promise.”
Xander nodded. “We’re in this together.”
Kaj exhaled, shoving down the irritation curling in his guts.Fucking teamwork. Grinding his teeth, he pushed himself to his feet and made his way over to the group. Noah’s eyes flicked to him, his expression a mix of surprise and distrust.
“Let’s do this!” Kaj said, stepping between Xander and Noah, putting his arms around their shoulders. “First night!”
“Hell, yeah!” Aksel shouted as he broke the circle.
“Go give them a show!” Niels, who had been in the room the whole time, talking on the phone with another band’s booking agent, outstretched a fist for them to bump.
He rarely ever traveled with them, but their current situation wasn’t the norm, either—new vocalist, lots of drama, etc. That was why, this time, they’d decided it would be a good thing to have him around to support Ivar so the tour ran smoothly, care for their well-being from up close, and ensure their image stayed intact through the storm.
The band filed out, following a stagehand and Ivar through the dimly lit maze-like backstage area, with the security guys right at their tail. The narrow corridors pulsed with energy, the roar of the crowd growing louder as they neared the stage wing. Some of their roadies darted past, offering a quick thumbs-up or pats on the back.
Kaj’s heart pounded furiously in his chest.
Behind heavy black curtains, with the lights on the other side off, the noise became muffled excitement. Then it all turned red. Cheers became untamed and alive once again, morphing the energy into something brutal, sharp, and focused. They gathered their instruments and made their way outside.
Xander and Aksel stepped out first, greeted by an explosion of screams. Kaj was up next. He settled behind his kit with practiced ease. And lastly, Noah. From his stool, Kaj could see the hesitation teetering inside of him for a second before he strode out, microphone clutched tightly in his hand as he waved at the audience.
Twirling his sticks, Kaj scanned the sea of faces before them. The lights were blinding, but he could discern just enough of the first rows, a blur of curiosity and enthusiasm.
Not a bad start.
With a collective nod when the musicians glanced at each other, Kaj counted them in.
The first chords of “Egoist” ripped through the air, and the screams below intensified, sending vibrations through the floor and into Kaj’s bones as he double-kicked, arms moving in perfect sync.
Xander’s bass thrummed.
