“Get a room!”
“What the hell was that about?” Kaj hissed.
But Mads wasn’t looking at him. His gaze was fixed somewhere past Kaj’s back, a triumphant grin spread across his face as he subtly tipped his head to the side.
Kaj turned around to look in the direction his friend was gesturing, only to be met with Noah’s unreadable expression. Though he could have sworn he saw a flicker of something behind his impassiveness—hurt or maybe jealousy. That was impossible.
“Just proving my point,” Mads replied. “Did you see his face? He’s definitely still into you, somehow. For reasons I can’t understand.”
“Or maybe he’s disgusted by your juvenile antics,” Kaj retorted. “In case you didn’t get the memo, we’re not in high school.”
As he berated Mads, Kaj glanced back at Noah, who had quickly averted his gaze.
“You can keep denying it if you want, but that little stunt was the detonator you needed. You’re welcome.” Mads clapped Kaj on the shoulder and sauntered off to join the others.
Kaj’s eyes then glided toward Noah. He stared at him for longer than was socially acceptable. The vocalist was engaged in an animated conversation with Xander and Dahlia. Yet there was a tightness in his shoulders that wasn’t there before.
Kaj shook his head and turned his back to them.
He didn’t care whether Mads was right or not.Couldn’tcare. The road that had brought them here was doomed. What Kaj had done to Noahthatnight eight years ago, despite all the wrongs he’d done before, was unforgivable. He didn’t understand how Noah could be in the same room with him. Work with him. The mere sound of his stepbrother’s voice had made Kaj throw up even years after the assault. The smell of that cologne. The festive atmosphere during Christmas. It all made him feel nauseous. And the way he had ignored Noah’s pleas that one time… Kaj shivered.
Unsure of what to do with himself and these matted memories, Kaj choked down the remaining half of his soda and went to the closet by the entrance to grab his jacket. He desperately wanted another drink—a real one that would knock him out—but that was a dangerous path. Instead, with his gaze half-focused, dull with the turmoil swirling inside, he strode toward the terrace. He needed to clear his mind.
They’d be flying to Toronto in a week for a tour that would cross the Americas during the next month and a half. Then they had another three months of gigs scattered all over Europe for the summer festivals round.
With this strange sensation wrapping around his throat, the longing clogging his heart, and the overwhelming desire filling his balls, he slid the glass door open. The cool night air was a nice respite from the stuffy apartment, but as soon as Kaj breathed in and puffed up, he deflated. He wasn’t alone. Noah was there, elbows leaning on the railing, mindlessly twirling the empty glass in his hand, ice cubes rattling against each other. He was the last person Kaj wanted to deal with now, but before he could turn away, Noah glanced over his shoulder, his expression hardening when he saw him.
“Don’t let me stop you,” he clipped, gesturing with his palm up.
Kaj quirked an eyebrow. The uneasiness Kaj was feeling a second ago twisted, turning into something completely different.Something vile.
He moved to stand at the railing a meter away from him, pulled out the packet of tobacco he kept in the pocket of his bomber, and lit it, inhaling deeply. Minutes passed, wrapping them in a tight embrace of discomfort and reluctance.
“You and Mads, huh?” Noah said, breaking the silence. “Didn’t think you’d still be together.”
Kaj wasn’t looking at him, but he could sense the tension in Noah’s body as they both stared into the horizon.
Smirking, Kaj blew out a cloud of smoke. “What are you talking about?”
“Please.” Noah scoffed.
“That wasn’t—” Kaj started, then stopped. He didn’t owe this man any explanation, and he definitely didn’t need his approval. Besides, the bitter edge in his drawl was delicious. Chuckling, he decided that he’d toy with Noah before letting him off the hook. “Someone sounds awfully bothered by a little friendly peck. Jealous, Sørensen?”
“I couldn’t care less.”
Kaj flicked ash from his cigarette. “Why bring it up then?”
“Just making some small talk.”
“And you have nothing better to talk about than my sexual life?” Kaj took a drag and exhaled, looking at Noah out of the corner of his eye.Fuck. He loved getting under his skin.
With a huff, Noah let his head hang down. “I’m tired of this tug-of-war you keep pushing on me. Why can’t we talk like adults?”
“Because.” Kaj shrugged.
“You know,” Noah said, looking at Kaj. “I don’t understand how Mads can put up with your bullshit.”
Amused by his poorly hidden annoyance, Kaj raised a questioning eyebrow.
