“Yeah, what’s the problem with that?”
“You’re such an antisocial, grumpy ogre.”
“I’m not antisocial, I’m anti-stupid. And you’re too much of that,” Kaj shouted so Mads could hear him from his room.
“I missed you, too!”
Kaj released another sigh. As annoyed as he was that Mads had interrupted his onanism session, Kaj was glad he was back. Being alone at home for so long wasn’t good for his mental health.
Kaj and Mads had been orbiting each other since he emancipated. They’d worked at the same café, grocery shopped at the same place, and even met at the cinema several times, where they used to go alone to watch VO ’90s movies, until they started going together. Months later, after learning that Kaj was living by himself in a crappy apartment no bigger than a shoe box, Mads invited him to stay with him and his grandma.
He’d been there when Kaj tried to take his own life. Encouraged him to play drums again after two years of not wanting to do anything with music. Showed him there were people he could still trust. Gave him the time he needed until he was ready to get intimate. Offered him a safe space and the freedom within their relationship to deal with his trauma.
Then the tables were reversed when Mads was about to start folk school and his grandma got really sick. Kaj was there to help them both in every way he could. It was the least he could do since they had saved his life.
Were there romantic feelings between them? Despite what people thought as they had an open relationship, yes. At some point. Until what used to inspire them turned into an unhealthy competition and date nights into a nuisance that hampered their progress when they were both trying to make themselves a name in the music industry. But when their egos healed all that was left was the friendship—the understanding, respect, and unconditional support. If Val, Aksel, and Xander suspected there was a darkness within Kaj he hadn’t shared with them, Mads had seen, touched, and tasted it.
“How have you been?” Mads asked from the couch where he was sitting with his legs crisscrossed.
“Good.”
“Your face is telling a different story.”
Kaj rolled his eyes while walking around the kitchen island. “Can we talk about that later?”
“Are you gonna talk about it later?”
“No.”
Mads chuckled.
Kaj didn’t add another word and opened the fridge, looking inside it for a few moments before finally grabbing a bottle of iced tea. “How was the tour,first chair?” he asked, changing the topic as he sat on the other side of the couch with a knee bent, facing him.
“It was nice.”
Kaj arched an eyebrow while filling the two glasses he’d taken from the cabinet. “Nice? You’ve been working your ass off your entire life for this moment. You’ve actually been a pain inmyass for years with it.”
“I know, I know.” Mads looked down at his fidgeting hands and smiled, but the joy didn’t make his eyes shine. “It’s been amazing. Every city, the concerts, people asking me for photos and autographs… It was like living a dream, but Gran isn’t here to see me become a star.”
“Yeah...”
“It sucks.” Mads huffed. “A few more months and she could have seen me getting up there. All she ever wanted after the shit I went through as a kid, with Dad abandoning us and Mom killing herself, was that my dreams turned into a reality.”
Kaj twisted his mouth. As sarcastic as he was, the way Mads talked about the sad story of his life, like it was a bad joke, was always disturbing.
“I just wish I could have shown her the man she helped me become. To see the pride in her smile and the love in her eyes one more time. I wouldn’t be where I am without her.” Mads sniffed and rubbed the back of his hand under his nose. “Fuck, I miss her.”
It truly hurt that she wasn’t around anymore. Kaj hadn’t known any of his grandparents, and Birgit had been everything—a mother, a grandmother, and a guardian angel when he needed it the most. And now it was just the two of them, which was one of the reasons he didn’t mind it when Mads invited himself over. He had inherited her house, and while it looked nice and cozy with all the renovations they’d done, Mads hated being there alone.
“You know,” Kaj started, “you don’t need to prove anything. She always knew you’d make it, even if you didn’t see it yourself. She was proud of you.” He reached for Mads’s leg and gave him a light squeeze.
Mads looked behind Kaj through the panoramic glass window with a faint smile full of melancholy. “Thank you.”
“No need. Just stop being so hard on yourself, yeah?”
“Aye, sir.” He sighed. “Anyway, how have you been?”
“Could be better.”
