Kaj didn’t care.
All that mattered was getting Noah out of there.
Without letting go of him, Kaj led Noah out of the house. They didn’t share a word nor look at each other, just kept moving forward, step by step, until they reached Kaj’s motorcycle. The summer breeze felt sticky against the flushed skin of his face, and he was so worried, so nervous and angry, he wanted to jump out of himself.
“Put it on,” he said, pressing his helmet into Noah’s hands. He’d left in such haste, he’d forgotten to grab a spare, and as much as he wanted to punch Noah right now, he wanted him safe.
Noah glared at the helmet without saying anything, then slid it over his head. The drummer took a deep breath and swung his leg over the bike. As Noah’s arms wrapped around his waist, Kaj felt himself on the verge of a breakdown. If he hadn’t gotten here in time… Would Noah really have gotten to the end?
Shaking his head, Kaj revved the engine, stealing one last glance at the house before tearing down the road.
Twenty-seven
Kajbarelyrememberedtheride back to Noah’s neighborhood. Hell, he barely remembered deciding to come here, but he was glad that at least a part of his brain was still functioning. And thank fuck Noah kept Kaj’s keys along with his own. If they’d shown up at his place in their current state, Mads would have probably been caught in a crossfire that had nothing to do with him.
Because one last battle was about to break.
Every second they’d been on the road with Noah’s arms around Kaj’s waist, his guts had twisted a little more. Every second he had to hold back from screaming his frustration out to the sky, fear cut deeper into his flesh. Every second he’d spent alone with his thoughts, pretending to be composed, Kaj could hear the beast inside of him roaring louder and louder. He couldn’t control it. It was about to explode.
When they finally reached Noah’s apartment, Kaj was shaking with the weight of everything that had been building up, coiling within him like a constrictor—tight around his lungs as he slammed the door shut behind them. Each breath of air burned. He was fucking suffocating. Not even the silence in this place could stop the fall.
With his heart thundering in his ears, Kaj yanked his jacket off, threw it on the couch, and started pacing like a trapped animal. He was furious. With himself. With Noah. With the entire fucking world.
Mimicking his sharp gesture, Noah flung the helmet with so much force it bounced off the cushions and hit the floor.
Kaj’s jaw twitched. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
“What was I thinking?” Noah took off the balaclava from the top of his head and tossed behind him along with his gloves. His hands were trembling, knuckles raw with bruises and drying blood. “That he deserved so much worse than what he got.”
Kaj rubbed his palms over his face, pulling his bottom eyelids down. “You—” His voice sounded hollow as he kept his hands over his mouth. He sucked in a deep breath, trying to contain the storm threatening to break free. “Someone could’ve seen you. You could’ve—For fuck’s sake, Jesper could have killed you!”
Noah let out a snort, and his mouth tugged up at the corner. But the smirk he offered wasn’t the sexy one Kaj liked so much. It was wicked, sinister. “That scumbag? Have you seen him? He didn’t stand a chance.”
Kaj didn’t know where all this dark confidence was coming from, and as much as a part of him was enjoying seeing it unleash, he needed Noah to understand that what he’d done wasn’t only reckless and dangerous but also stupid. He wouldn’t have forgiven himself if he got to the end, no matter how hell-bent he was about what he’d done being the only solution to their problems.
“You don’t know that!” Kaj snapped, closing the distance between them as they were standing on each side of the open space. “You don’t control everything. The ways this could have gone wrong… Fuck! Someone could’ve walked in, called the cops, hit you to make you stop. You could be sitting in the back of a fucking police car right now or fucking bleeding out in that basement!”
“But I’m not.” Noah rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck.
“That’s not the point!” Kaj’s hands curled into fists at his sides. “You scared the shit out of me, Noah! I woke up and didn’t know where you were after being all weird and broody last night. Then everything clicked, and I knew you’d come for him. I was fucking terrified! Do you get that?”
A flash of something Kaj couldn’t read crossed Noah’s eyes, and his breathing turned even more erratic. Asynchrony was probably hitting him already, dividing his mind into more pieces than he could manage. That was what happened when clarity crept in, when you had to own up to your mistakes, and admit what you’d done.
Kaj had faced this type of remorse twice in his life, but he’d been stoned both times, so his memories were all fuzzy. But he perfectly remembered the discomfort in his chest.
“He was never going to stop. I had to do something!”
“What are you talking about? The police have everything he’s been sending to you for months. It was only a matter of time.”
“Yeah, right.”
“But you fucked him up real good,” Kaj continued, ignoring Noah’s derisive tone. “There’s no hiding those cuts you carved on his legs.”
“So everyone knows what he is.”
Jesus. I’m gonna smack him.“What if he presses charges?”
“He won’t.”
