Twenty-six
Morninglightsneakedthroughthe curtains, slanting shadows over the walls and making Kaj squint.
Like every day when he woke up, his brain was slow and dense, but the uneasiness that hatched in the back of his mind yesterday had festered overnight, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth he couldn’t get rid of.
Something was wrong.
After Noah returned from buying all the things they didn’t really need, instead of turning on the oven to prepare dinner, he’d left everything on the kitchen counter and quite literally assaulted Kaj with his mouth and hands. He’d gone from content and calm, to agitated and sad, to horny in the span of an hour. To say it was suspicious was an understatement, but Kaj was too dick-whipped to stop him to talk.
Sex was always fun and hot between them, but if Noah needed it as an outlet for whatever was bothering him, Kaj was okay with letting him use his body that way. Anything to keep him close.
And he didn’t regret one bit of what they’d done.
Since they’d started exploring Kaj’s newly found needs a month ago, things had been slowly escalating. Last night, not only did Noah rimmed him like crazy, but he’d sucked him while fucking his ass with three fingers. It was the first time he’d relaxed enough to take so many, which made him feel a huge array of things that bounced between pride and happiness.
But now, in the empty quiet of his bedroom, that little voice in his head was louder again.
The way Noah had kissed and touched him—with feverish desire and aching intensity—set off all his alarms.
Their relationship, and life in general, was as stable as it could be considering the circumstances. Even Trine was better. During her last visit to her doctor, he’d said there were no traces of cancer. Of course, they couldn’t say they’d won the war, but it certainly felt like a victory. Yet Noah had seemed desperate, too desperate.
It was as if he’d suddenly worried there wouldn’t be a tomorrow.
As if he was saying goodbye.
As if it was the last time.
The cold mattress beside Kaj didn’t help tune the noise out.
Kaj’s heart writhed behind his ribs as he got up and dragged himself to the en-suite. When he was done with his usual routine, he went to the kitchen. Every muscle in him was tense with a sense of dread he didn’t like one bit. Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe Noah had simply woken up early and was in the living room reading or watching something. It could really be nothing.
Kaj was trying to convince himself that he was just being paranoid until he saw Mads, and no trace of Noah.
Since Mads had gotten a new bed frame, he hadn’t been around much—that shady boyfriend of his was too fucking possessive, and not in a good way. Yet here he was now, cooking.At…Kaj glanced at the clock on his phone in his hand.Eight fucking forty in the morning.
“What are you doing here so early?”
“Morning, sunshine.”
“Mads…” Kaj warned.
“Making breakfast?” Mads replied with that ‘duh’annoying tone he liked to use when Kaj asked stupid questions, but he didn’t turn around to show him the bored expression that usually accompanied it.
“Whyare you here?” Kaj narrowed his eyes on him, a cold prickle running down his spine.
“Felt lonely.” He lifted a shoulder as he flipped the eggs.
“Try again.”
Mads huffed, glancing over his shoulder with an eye roll. “What do you want me to say? That I missed you? That I ran out of food?”
“I want the fucking truth. Where’s Noah?”
“How should I know? Seriously, dude, you’re getting crankier and crankier. How does that man put up with your mood swings?”
“Funny. He asked the same about you a few months ago.” Kaj unlocked his phone. “Yet you both seem to be coming back for more.” It was supposed to be a witty remark, but there was no humor in his tone as he dialed Noah’s number.
“Because—”
