“Wait.” Aksel frowned. “Are you saying—No.” He shook his head.
There was no need for further explanation.
They’d all read the messages Jesper had sent to Noah. They all knew the creepy things he’d written and sent to Kaj.
As realization settled in everyone’s minds, their expressions contorted, an array of emotions that swayed from bewilderment to sadness to utter rage crossing their faces in a matter of seconds.
Xander jumped to his feet and started pacing back and forth like a caged animal. Niels rubbed both hands over his face, then clasped them near his mouth as he blankly stared at the coffee table. Aksel ran his fingers through his hair, fisting it at the top of his head as he glared into space.
“Your stepbrother?” Xander asked the universe like he couldn’t believe it. “When?”
“I… don’t think that’s what matters now,” Mads cut in gently.
“It’s okay…” Kaj gave him a knowing look. “When I was sixteen.”
“What the hell?” Aksel’s nose scrunched up. “So, he’s not only a disgusting creep, but he’s also a fucking monster?”
“What do you want us to do?” Xander tossed out there.
“What do you mean?” Kaj asked.
“Threaten him? Beat the shit out of him? Whatever it is, consider it done.”
For a long time, Kaj had wished Jesper the worst. Just like he’d had nightmares, he’d also had the most disturbing dreams about the different ways he would have liked to hurt him. Then he joined Artificial Suicide, and his focus drifted away from the misery of his life to center on the huge opportunity to do what he loved most.
Only after Katja’s funeral, when he saw Jesper again, did the intrusive thoughts return. But as he finished with all the legal paperwork, they slowly vanished until his existence became a distant buzz in the back of his mind.
Being stoned or drunk most of the time probably had something to do with it.
When their ex-vocalist did what he did and Noah came into their lives, though, a new wave of horrid memories bashed his mind. It physically hurt some days.
But did he want revenge? A part of him did. God, yes. He’d fantasized about seeing him hung or bleeding to death more times than he cared to admit. Yet what he really wanted was to close this fucking door and move on once and for all.
Kaj offered Xander a weak smile. “All I’m worried about right now is Noah’s safety.” He swallowed hard. This was easier to talk about than what he’d told Noah two nights ago, but talking about that man, giving him this kind of importance, created an uncomfortable sensation that wrapped around Kaj like a slithering, vicious snake. “Jesper… He must be really fucked in the head if, after so many years, he’s still so obsessed that he’s risking going back to jail. I don’t know what he’s capable of anymore.”
“Makes sense.” Niels nodded. “How do you wanna go about this? What doyouwant to do?”
Kaj glanced at Noah, who encouraged him with a loving smile as he squeezed his hand. “I think we should report him for stalking.”
“And that’s it?” Aksel snapped. “What about what he did to you?”
“That’s not up to you to decide,” Noah snapped.
“But—”
Kaj snorted, then cackled like a madman, drawing all eyes to him.
He loved every person in this room for very different reasons and in different ways. They all added something to his life, and no matter how messed up, broken, erratic, or selfish he was, they’d always been by his side one way or another, as long as he’d allowed them.
Easing out of his laughter, Kaj slowly shook his head as he brushed his thumb over the back of Noah’s hand. “I’m not sure it’d make any sense to report it now.”
“I told you years ago, and I’ll say it again,” Mads started. “No one will judge you or think less of you if you don’t want to do it. It’s your life. But if you decide to take that step, and I think I speak for everyone in this room, we’ll be with you every step of the way.”
“What he said,” Xander agreed.
“I know.” Kaj nodded. Noah had told him those exact words yesterday. “But I don’t know if it’d be of any use at this point. It’s been almost twelve years, I was within legal consenting age, and it’s not like I have any physical proof.”
Aside from the fear of having to endure any form of shame and humiliation while reporting his assault—Kaj had read real horror stories from other people—he had never been keen on doing so because it was a hard case to prove. Sadly, Danish law didn’t define rape based on lack of consent. Instead, it focused on whether physical violence, threat, or coercion had been involved, or if the victim was unable to resist, which Kaj had no way to prove.
