“Stay the fuck away,” Kaj grunted, jaw so tense it could snap at any moment.
“What are you gonna do if I don’t?”
Noah’s dark eyes flared up, fueling the violence pulsing in Kaj’s veins.
“Don’t mess with me. You’ll regret it.”
“Heard that before.”
“I mean it.” Kaj bared his teeth. One more word. One more fucking word and he was going to—
Noah sighed, stepping back and putting a palm on Kaj’s chest to keep him away.A dismissal. A fucking insult.
“I don’t know what your problem is, and honestly, I don’t care.” Noah dusted off his coat like Kaj was dirt he needed to shake loose. “I’ll do what’s best forme.”
Kaj’s skin crawled, his fists ached and blood bubbled in his veins.
He couldn’t reproach Noah for the shit he’d endured when he was sixteen. Except for his stepmother, Kaj had never talked about what happenedwhenit was happening with anyone—not anyone he knew in real life, and it wasn’t like he did it voluntarily with her, anyway. So, expecting the rest of the world to see his suffering and stop it was foolish. But that changed nothing for them or the once beautiful emotions that mutated into venomous rage.
After losing his dad, life had fallen like dominos, piece after piece after piece. Even if Kaj hadn’t been so overwhelmed with what he felt back then, even if he had told Noah the truth, the damage was already done.
There was no way Noah would have stayed. Not because he didn’t want to, but because the repulsion every time he looked at him would’ve been too much to bear. Kaj had felt it for a long time whenever he’d stared at himself in the mirror. Even now, some days, it was hard to focus on what he’d achieved instead of what had been stolen from him.
Kaj poked Noah’s pec. “You’ve been warned.”
“Yeah, okay.” He rubbed his chest and turned around, waving a hand as he walked away. “See you.”
Something unpleasant forked through Kaj’s spine. He wanted to run after Noah and crash him against the wall, scare him enough so he would never come back.
His lips pursed into a thin line, fists clenching and unclenching as he squeezed his eyes closed for a second to collect himself. His breath faltered. All the things he didn’t want to remember had pulled him out of solid ground like a rip current during the past few weeks, but he couldn’t let one person throw him off his game so easily.
Inhaling, he looked up at the darkening sky disrupted by light pollution and stray clouds until he couldn’t hear anything other than his pulse reverberating in the alley. The world felt like a better place now that he was alone again, but it was… empty.
Kaj winced.
Mutual dislike and exasperation were the only things they had in common now, but his heart hadn’t beat with such violence in a long time. It was as if his body knew a truth his mind wasn’t ready to accept. A truth that would tear his armor to shreds, leaving him completely exposed. Scars. Fears. Weaknesses.
Fuck!Kaj punched the metal door.
“Dude, you missed it!” Aksel said as soon as he walked into the studio with a sore fist.
“What?”
“Noah sang ‘Outsider’ and he. Fucking. Nailed. It.”
Kaj was taking off his jacket and stopped halfway as those words rolled off his friend’s tongue. A shiver ran through each one of his limbs. With the bomber hanging from his hand, he blinked in disbelief.
“You’re kidding.”
“No.” Xander shook his head with an expression Kaj had only seen when they performed. “He was clearly nervous, but didn’t let that ruin it for him.”
“We need him,” Aksel stated. “He’s super chill, has a perfect cadence, and his voice is so fucking gritty, I’ve got goosebumps on my arms all the damn time.”
“He can’t be that good. Besides, we still have three other vocalists to meet.”
“Yeah, we know,” Xander said. “But this Sørensen guy has gone straight to the top of the list.”
“What do you think?” Kaj asked the manager, searching for some common sense while fear embittered the tip of his tongue.
