He had felt something before, but, caught up in the adrenaline rushing in his veins, he didn’t stop to analyze it. Under the razor blade and roses tattooed on Kaj’s left forearm there was a groove, a line that went from his wrist up. It could be anything, even a surgery scar, but something told him it was self-inflicted.
Noah noticed his own gaze softening as he tried to swallow. All he wanted to do right now was end this ridiculous fight and hug him. Because as exasperating as Kaj was, he didn’t deserve to have gone through such horrible pain his wish to die overrode the natural instinct to survive.
“W-what’s this? What happened?” Noah’s thumb brushed over it.
With a snarl that was half anger, half something else entirely, Kaj crashed their lips together.
The impact was devastating, like a dam breaking in the middle of a storm. A natural disaster in all its glory. It dissolved all the warring pieces inside of Noah in wet heat as they transformed into a mesh of teeth and tongues. Of cravings, regret, and hate. Messy and desperate, but more real than anything Noah hadfelt in a long time. It was a battle that ended with both of them surrendering to the magnetic pull that had never really disappeared.
Kaj crowded the little space between their bodies, free hand finding its way to Noah’s hip and clutching tight. Noah was dizzy as his heart, lungs, and mind tried to catch up with the two years they’d been apart. Nothing existed but them. And heneededmore. Of his warmth. Of his rage. Of that piercing teasing his tongue. Of this fire searing between them. He wanted to brand his fingertips on Kaj’s skin.
Fisting Kaj’s soft hair, Noah thrusted forward, seeking more friction. They were both so hard it was painful.
Just when he was about to slide a palm between them, the door of the bathroom slammed shut.
“Ehm-uh... Sorry,” a guy Noah didn’t know stuttered as he stumbled and walked into a stall.
They’d been kicked back into reality, but for a second that felt like an eternity, neither of them moved. They stared into each other’s eyes, chests rising and falling raggedly as the weight of the things they never said fell over them.
“This doesn’t change anything,” Kaj rasped.
“I know.”
Noah would have liked to say that once Kaj left the bathroom, he relaxed and enjoyed the night, but he didn’t. Knowing that man was there, watching him—their eyes had found each other in the darkness several times. That Kaj thought he had any sort of power over him pissed him off. So much so that he took it all out on Zach when they arrived at his apartment.
Noah wasn’t normally tame. He loved it when his partner put up a bit of a fight. But that night, Kaj was the one in his mind when he was railing Zach, indulging in the sounds they were making as guilt swirled in his chest for having allowed that man to kiss him. Though his musings weren’t exactly sexual. Askind and selfless as Noah was, he hated when people took him for a fool. He was confident in his masculinity and didn’t need to compete with others to see who had the biggest dick. But sometimes, the latent need to subdue a dominant, strong man got out of control.
“Come for me. Now,” Noah gritted, a hand pressing Zach’s head against the door and the other gripping his hip as he rammed into his tight hole with punishing, fast strokes.
“Fuck, fuck, fuuuuuck!” Zach growled, trembling, panting, and moaning just for him.
And there it was... the delicious sense of victory.
Twenty-one
It was spring break,and with classes paused, Noah had gone back home. Aside from the previous weekend that he’d spent with Zach before he left on a trip to the States with his family, he had no plans. Val was visiting his parents, and Theo was with his father until Friday, so staying at the dorms alone made no sense.
It was nice for a change, to eat homemade meals every day and have someone else do the laundry. Besides, Rocket was the best roommate—cute, funny, and didn’t pester him late at night with girl troubles.
“Certificate of Acceptance of Studies,” Sigrid read over his shoulder as she cracked a beer open. “What is that?”
“Just some stuff I have to fill out for college in the UK.”
Knowing he would be moving to London in September, Noah didn’t want to stress or risk having any issues with the visa at the last minute, so he’d already started doing all the paperwork. He knew it only took a month to get it approved, but whatif something went wrong and he had to redo some of the documents?
“Oh, right. Your mom told me about it. Fancy.” She smiled, leaning her butt on the counter behind her.
He was starting to think that what they had was more than just afriendship. One, because she was here more times than not. Two, because although Sigrid was definitely outgoing and friendly, she was too comfortable around the house. And three, because it wasn’t news to Noah that his mom had experimented in the past. When he was a kid, she obviously kept a lot of things to herself, but she had no filter these days, and this weird second puberty she was going through only made that worse. But since Trine hadn’t told him anything, he’d let it slide. For now.
“So, you’re really leaving,” Sigrid noted.
“Yeah. But it’s not like it’s that far,” Noah said, aware that his mom had probably whined about it to her. She’d been pouting ever since Noah got an unconditional offer from college.
“True.” Sigrid chuckled. “And London is quite the city. I bet she’ll also have fun when she goes there to visit you.”
“Yup.”
“Anyway, how’s the tattoo doing?”
