Page 80 of If I Were To Die


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“Very nice, Mom.” Noah shook his head, feigning offense. “But I’m serious. We’ve never had a dog before.”

“Not because we didn’t want to.”

That was true. When Noah was a kid, she was too busy caring for him and working the weirdest schedules. Then they moved to live with Grandma, who didn’t like animals. Later, she was juggling between her courses, work, and Noah. The timing never seemed right, but they both had always wanted a furry companion.

“Still, I think it’d be better if you gave him some time to adapt to you, the house, and his new situation, no?” he said while pulling weird faces, mimicking Rocket chewing on the toy Noah was holding for him.

“Oh, yeah. I didn’t mean I’d get another dog right away.”

“I mean, if you think you can take care of them. Sure. I won’t be the one stopping you.”

Trine chuckled. “Anyway, you’re okay with staying here for the night, then?” she asked for the tenth time.

“It’s all good. Why do you keep asking?”

“Because it’s the weekend, and you’re young. You should be out doing all the bad things.”

“I’ve done that too many weekends in a row since I started classes. I need some alone time. And sleep, lots of sleep, which I won’t be able to do tonight if I stay at the dorms. Val and Theo snore like bears when they’re drunk.”

“Is it because they’re going out with, you know…”

“No. They can do whatever they want and hang out with whomever.” Noah rolled his eyes.

Since they’d met Kaj a second time three weeks ago, they had been texting occasionally. And, although this was the first time they intentionally went out together, itdidbother him. So, was he avoiding that uncomfortable situation? Yes. But that wasn’t the only reason he didn’t want to go out tonight. Sometimes, he just felt like doing nothing and going to bed early, more so if he was at his mom’s, where the sheets smelled like spring and mornings were synonymous with coffee and homemade waffles.

“You sound so bitter it’s hard to believe.” She sighed as she got up from the couch.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you today and take care of this little thing while you go out with Sigrid,” he answered, squeezing Rocket’s face between his hands.

“And I appreciate that,” she said, checking she had everything in her purse. “You can invite Zach over if you want, by the way. Just don’t throw a party, please.”

“Because that’s what I always do. Invite randos to snort glue and drink all the alcohol in the house in a lame attempt to fill the pathetic emptiness of my meaningless life.” He grinned at her eye roll. “I know how to be alone, Mom. Actually, I enjoy my solitude from time to time.”

“You’ve been partying a lot lately, so who knows anymore?”

“That’s different. I don’t have to clean anyone’s vomit, and I can sneak out whenever I want when I’m out.”

“Classy.” She chuckled.

“Now, could you please leave? Rocket and I have a tight agenda full of cookies, belly rubs, and movies.”

“He can’t eat sugary things. It’s bad for dogs.”

“I’ll share my pizza with him, then.”

“Noah!” Trine stomped a heeled boot on the floor.

He laughed. “Mom, you’ve made me read every dog book out there. I know all that already. Just get out of here and have fun, yeah?”

“Okay.” She zipped up her coat and walked over to them, kissing Noah on the cheek and Rocket on the top of his head. “Good night, you two. Don’t stay up too late!”

“And you don’t do anything I wouldn’t.”

Trine opened the door and laughed, closing it behind her.

The night was uneventful, filled with beer, pizza, and Iron Man movies. Though he fell asleep on his bed halfway through the second, with Rocket by his side.

For some people, it might seem like a boring evening, lame even. But it was exactly what he’d needed. Something that helped him put his brain on standby. Something that slowed down his mind so he didn’t constantly second-guess his college application or think about Kaj with the guys. They had onlystopped talking to him because he had pushed them away. What if he wanted his friends back? Where would that leave Noah if they couldn’t be in the same room?