“And she didn’t tell youanythingelse?”
“She mentioned a fight you had, but that’s all. Is there something else I should know?”
“Never mind.”
“Anyway, I just wanted to see how my baby brother’s doing,” Jesper said as he approached. “You were kinda sick when I brought you back home after Christmas holidays, and I hated that I couldn’t stay to personally check on you. Exams and all that crap.”
“I’m fine. We’re perfect, as you can see.” Kaj motioned with a hand between Noah and himself.
“Good to know. Can I have a sandwich too? I’m starving.”
“Make it yourself.” Kaj threw the bread bag in his direction, then the knife.
“You’re not going to do it for me?” He pouted.
“Really?”
“What?” Jesper raised a challenging brow, his expression turning somewhat dark.
“Go to hell,big brother.”
Noah’s head was on a swivel, not understanding shit about what was going on. Jesper and Kaj, aside from normal brotherly quarrels, had always gotten along. Despite their six-year gap, they could even be considered friends. Where was this hostility coming from? Why was Kaj so upset? And what about?
Jesper scoffed. “Is your underwear so tight that blood isn’t getting to your brain or what?”
Suddenly, Kaj turned pale. He swallowed a mouthful of saliva, though it looked like it was made of pins and spikes, judging by how he had to force the lump down his throat. Then, without adding another word, he stormed out of the kitchen, leaving his sandwich half-made on the counter.
Noah blinked, stupefied, before running up the stairs behind him.
“What happened…” he trailed off when he saw Kaj sitting on the bed, elbows resting on his knees and fists tightly clasped in his hair, motionless. Except for one restless, bouncing leg. “...down there?” he finished, putting a palm on Kaj’s shoulder as he crouched down in front of him.
He startled at the contact, then relaxed when his eyes locked on Noah’s. “I-I can’t be around him.”
“What? Why? What did he do?” He frowned, and his heart hit his ribs.
Kaj shook his head, eyes crowding with tears as he frowned. “Nothing. He did nothing to me, okay?” he snapped. “I just—I can’t.”
“Kaj, tell me. Maybe I can—”
“No, you can’t help,” Kaj cut him off. “No one can. H-he... Both him and Katja are the worst. Egoistical, entitled liars. They only care about themselves. I need to get out of this house. Fill out the emancipation papers as soon as possible,” he gritted, stumbling over his words as he clenched his fists. “Can wepleasego to your house for the weekend?” His eyes brimmed with tears.
Noah squeezed Kaj’s arm, the fingers of his free hand lacing through his hair as he brought their foreheads together. “Whatever you need.”
Thirteen
After packing enough thingsfor a couple of days, they walked out of the house and cycled back to Noah’s.
Wordlessly, without putting on a movie or anything, they went to bed. Even Trine looked puzzled by their weird behavior. And here they were now, lying together in the dark.
They stayed awake until the early morning, not touching, not even talking about their dream apartment in Copenhagen or the trips they wanted to take. It was just silence. Dire and heavy silence.
“If I were to die, would you miss me?” Kaj asked, his voice hoarse and strained, as if he were making the greatest effort to avoid crying.
Noah frowned. He could only see Kaj’s profile, silhouetted by the light coming from the street, but it was enough for him to realize it wasn’t a hypothetical question. “What are you talking about? I miss you every time we’re not together. Don’t even joke about that.”
“But... would you move on and be happy with someone else if I weren’t here?”
Scooting closer to him, Noah touched his forehead to Kaj’s temple, afraid to do anything else since he seemed stranded in some sort of catatonia. “If you died, I’d die with you.”
