“It was different.”
Noah blew a puff of air through his nose. “That doesn’t sound too good?”
“No, yeah. It was great.” Kaj sighed. “I’m just trying to process and decide whether I should freak out or not.”
“For making out with a guy?”
“Mostly.”
“Okay, yeah. Makes sense.”
It really didn’t make sense to Noah. Despite finding the idea of engaging in anything sexual a hassle, he had no doubts about who he was attracted to. But if he ever kissed a girl and liked it, he probably would be confused, too, because that’d be like seeing a unicorn—impossible. So, he got it. Kinda.
“But I’m not freaking out, not even a bit, which is weird, and good, I guess. The sensations were completely different, but your cock against mine felt nice. And your lips are so soft. You’re not that bad of a kisser for a first-timer. I haven’t tried anything before because I wasn’t sure how it’d affect our friendship, but I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while now,” Kaj babbled in a low voice, talking more to himself, as if saying it out loud helped him think clearer. “Does that make me gay?”
“I don’t know. Bisexuality is a thing, too. Even if I don’t really understand it.”
Another sigh. “Dad always says that as long as people don’t hurt others, what they do in the privacy of their bedrooms is no one else’s business. That as long as everything is consensual, it’s all good. Whatever that means.”
“Mom says the exact same.”
“Would that make me a slut? If I liked both girls and boys, I mean.”
“I wouldn’t say so. You’d just have more options.”
Kaj snorted, and silence settled between them once more.
Noah was afraid of rejection, of losing his friend. Because if they were weird around each other after one peck on the lips, with the current situation—he didn’t even want to think about it. Kaj meant the world to him. If they fell apart, he would break intwo. So, he just waited as the cold of the night slipped under his skin.
“I-I... don’t know what I am.”
“You’re Kaj,” Noah whispered. “You don’t have to decide now. Who you like doesn’t define who you are.”
“Right…” he said, turning around. “Are you okay?”
“I am.” Noah was, but he was also on the verge of crying as arousal turned into fear and uncertainty.
“Look at me.”
Reluctantly, he rolled onto his side. “I’m good. It’s just...”
Kaj’s beautiful face twisted with concern. “Do you regret it?”
“What? No! I’m just worried.”
“About what?”
“What happens now?”
Despite how vulnerable he felt, their relationship had always been like this—easygoing and honest. Kaj was straightforward and rarely ever held back when something was running in circles in his mind. And although Noah was more timid, Trine had raised him with such openness it was natural for him to talk about things like this.“Communication is key for a healthy relationship,”she used to say.
“Well, first, we should wash ourselves. I’ll lend you some clean boxers. And then…” Kaj pressed a tender kiss on Noah’s lips. “Tomorrow, or whenever, I wanna repeat this and do more,much more, if that’s okay with you.”
“Shit. I think I’m hard again,” Noah mumbled.
Kaj chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
He pushed him off the bed and, chuckling like accomplices in a crime no one knew about, they snuck out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. He grabbed two small towels from the closet beside the sink, soaked them under the tap, and handed Noah one.
