“And now, welcome My Lost Chance!” the manager of the club called on the mic.
Noah bit the inside of his cheek, remembering how they’d chosen the name for the band. It was a fun afternoon, one of those rare days with no girls around. The four of them were sprawled on the carpeted floor at Val’s, eating junk food and writing a list of names they liked, then checking online to see if someone was already using them, as if it would ever matter. Hours and a million scrapped lists later, Val blurted My Lost Chance, and the rest was history.
Noah followed his friends up on stage. Only five steps, yet it felt like climbing Mount Everest. From up there, even though the spotlights were partially blinding him, the place looked bigger than before. It was dizzying.
You’ve got this, you’ve got this,he repeated in his head like a mantra.
The singing lessons had helped a ton with his technique. Even when he tried grittier sounds, his vocal cords remained perfectly healthy. It was a pain in the ass for Trine to drive him to Fredericia three times a week. She was working, taking care of the house, him, and also trying to finish some courses to become a makeup artist. But since Noah hardly ever asked for anything, she didn’t think twice. And honestly, he was beyond thankful. He never thought he’d be into singing, but now he couldn’t wait to see what else he could learn to do with his voice.
A deep breath. One steady heartbeat. Kaj clicked his drumsticks, and they began to play.
Chords vibrated, drums resonated, and Noah’s intonation faltered.Fuck. He hadn’t been so nervous in his entire life. Nomatter how good he was at this, the sensation of dozens of eyes on him, as if they expected him to fail, turned him into a puddle. His palms were clammy, his stomach was churning, and his heart was pounding violently. He didn’t even know how he was still standing. And as bad as he wanted to run away, he couldn’t. Not when they’d been practicing for so many months. Not when this wasn’t just about him.
Looking at Val and Theo strum the strings of their respective instruments, a surge of dopamine flooded his system. They seemed so happy, enraptured even. Almost as much as Kaj, who was beating the crap out of his drums with a grin splitting his face. There was no way he was going to let them down after everything they’d done for him.
Noah took the mic off its stand and gripped it with both hands. He still felt like he might pass out or throw up at any moment, yet he wanted to put on a good show.
Minutes ticked away, and they reached the end of their set without realizing it. As they finished playing the last song, all the fear dissipated with what came afterward.
Nikolaj was right about the reward. He was right, because in the first row, together with Trine and Val’s parents, the entire crowd roared. It wasn’t deafening, but the response was otherworldly. Whistling. Cheers. Clapping. Noah’s entire body buzzed with enthusiasm.
They’d told their parents to leave. It was embarrassing having them here. But they didn’t listen. Noah felt bad that Theo’s mom wasn’t with them, though it was no surprise since she never seemed interested in her son’s whereabouts, but even her absence couldn’t bring them down. They may have just been boys navigating the most confusing moment of their lives, standing in a small, gritty rock bar in the middle of nowhere, but that night they’d reached the top of the world.
A similar jolt of excitement hit Noah a week later.
Val was on a date that Saturday and Theo was visiting his grandma, so Kaj and Noah were alone. Like old times, they’d been watching anime and eating pizza, falling asleep before they could turn off the laptop.
It was past two in the morning now. The entire house was silent, nothing but the streetlights illuminating the room. The tree branches swaying in the wind were the only thing he could hear. Nikolaj and Katja were in bed, and so was Jesper, who was back home recovering from something called mononucleosis. He was getting better, but was staying longer to regain his strength.
Sleepy, his eyes blurry and heavy, Noah dragged his feet toward the bathroom in the hallway. He didn’t pee before passing out, so this was bound to happen.
Once he emptied his bladder and washed his hands, he stood in front of the mirror for a couple of minutes. Tired black eyes stared back at him, taking in his patchy stubbled jaw, the long hair reaching his chest, his prominent Adam’s apple, and his body. He was still kind of skinny, but even in his pajamas, he looked good. Hitting the gym to increase his cardiovascular strength and improve his singing—he was taking this shit seriously—hadn’t been such a horrible decision.
Releasing a sigh, Noah rubbed his face and went back to the bedroom.
“Can’t sleep?” Kaj’s hoarse voice asked in the dark.
“I needed to pee,” he whispered. “Sorry to wake you.”
“It’s alright,” he mumbled, turning around to face Noah.
They’d grown up, filling his bed more than when they were kids, but they still slept together when Noah was over. It was only when Val and Theo stayed here too that Nikolaj pulled out the air mattress.
A part of Noah would have liked to be separated. They had gone back to normal a while ago. Their interactions andeverything else were the same as they used to be, but he still couldn’t control the things he felt or his physical reactions when he was around his friend. But then, another part of him wanted to be close to him all the time.
“I’m so fucking lightheaded,” Kaj rasped as he got closer.
“Are you still drunk?” Noah asked.
“No. I don’t think so. Just a little tipsy. What about you?”
Noah’s eyes were adjusting to the lack of light in the room, but he could feel it, the warmth of Kaj’s body embracing him, his breath brushing his lips.
“I-I’m good. I didn’t drink as much as you did.”
“Good, because I wouldn’t like you not remembering this.”
“Wha—”
