He hadn’t planned to tell Erik about this. No one, really. While he wasn’t ashamed of his feelings, he didn’t need the pity or extra delicacy of his friends after they learned he was in love with someone who wouldn’t reciprocate. But fuck it, if he wanted honesty...
“Yeah, I like that douche. More like love him, but whatever.” He blew out a cloud of smoke.
Erik stared at him, mouth slightly agape. The few seconds they held each other’s gaze, Marc saw the hardness in his friend’s expression vanishing along with the tension between them. This was why everyone loved and trusted Erik. He was harsh and didn’t beat around the bush when uncomfortable conversations needed to be brought up, but he was kind and understanding, like few people were.
“I had no idea…”
“Now you do.”
The wind blew, making the branches of the trees above their heads bounce. It was cool, almost balmy, like how he felt finally blurting the things he’d been keeping to himself for so long.
“Since when?”
“Around three years.”
“Fuck, dude…” Erik mumbled. “How the hell have you put up with all his shit without exploding?”
“Bulletproof?” Marc let out a bitter chuckle. After Chris had broken up with the only serious girlfriend he’d ever had, he became the wildest creature alive. Had been like that for years, and although more than once the bassist had wished to be the cause of his lust, he was used to his ways. “I honestly don’t know how to do this.”
“What do you mean?”
“Want the sordid details?” Marc cleared his throat, unable to hold back a grin when Erik scrunched his nose.
Friendships as long as theirs made hiding things from each other almost impossible. Especially when they had spent so much time together composing, recording, and talking logistics with Uwe for the tours. They might as well have been Siamese twins.
“Look, I love you two, but I don’t need to know who drilled whose ass. Chris was involved. That’s enough for me to get an idea of how dirty that was.”
“It wasn’t that wild—”
Erik raised a palm, stopping him. “Keep it PG, for the faint-hearted.”
Marc grinned, loving the shift in the atmosphere. “Lines were crossed, obviously. But I don’t know where we stand anymore.” He exhaled a painful puff of air he felt he’d been holding for days. He needed to vent, but every time he had thought of doing it, he’d felt as if he were betraying Chris. “It’s… I know he’s trying to go back to our normal selves in his own way.”
“I’ve noticed.” Erik nodded.
“Yeah, but should I give him more time? Or just take the first step and talk things through to end this fucking agony? I can’t stand the awkwardness.” Marc huffed. “How did you fucking do it?”
“Do what?” Erik’s brow furrowed slightly.
“With Julia.”
“It wasn’t the same,” the drummer noted. “We were also friends, yeah, and the morning after our first time together was a littleodd. We could hardly look each other in the eye.”
“Yet you went at it the next day.” Marc flashed him a smug grin. Erik had glittered like a fucking vampire from thoseTwilightmovies when they had met at Uwe’s the afternoon after he’d banged their blonde friend.
“Because we both wanted it. We both had been hung up on each other for a while. We were just hesitant to take that step in fear of fucking up the amazing friendship we had. But we didn’t have to face any other types of changes in our relationship or ourselves.”
“Yeah…” Marc said absentmindedly. “I guess that helps.”
“It makes everything easier.”
“What am I supposed to do, then?”
“Are you asking for advice?”
“I am, dude. I am. Chris is a fucktard, and my head is so clouded with the what ifs, I don’t know what to do.”Oh fuck, that felt good.
Marc was an adult and had been taking care of himself almost his entire life. But letting out how lost and confused he was feeling, asking a friend for help, definitely felt nice.
